Category Archives: Encouragement

Aug 13
2
Ripple

Ripple

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Imagine you are sitting in front of a calm, peaceful stream. You are surrounded by nature and all its stunning beauty. The warmth of the sun shining down upon your face. The smell of fresh air penetrating your lungs. You can see the vibrant colors of the flowers and trees. No noise from traffic or the city. No phones ringing and buzzing. Just you and these tranquil surroundings.

You pick up a rock and skip it across the river and watch the ripples multiply as it expands. Taking in this marvelous and peaceful flow. You can appreciate how one small rock creates this change in movement. The juxtaposition between stillness and flow. Imagine feeling peace, calm, and tranquility. How often do you feel harmony throughout your day?

In our river of consciousness, our thoughts, feelings, and words are stones causing a ripple effect in our lives. We don’t always pay attention to the power of our stones we are tossing in. When we aren’t intentional with our thoughts, words, and deeds, we may have created negative habits that are rippling in an unpleasant direction. We notice them daily, but not how we may have contributed to that energy and momentum. Our thoughts, words, and actions are powerful stones.

When we can slow down our busy thoughts, actions, and noise, we can experience the present like tossing the stone across the river in nature. We can be more intentional and mindful of our choices. We can get caught up too often in our distractions of our busy lives missing our ripples.

It can be very beneficial to find a few moments in your day to experience some quiet moments and stillness. A disconnect from the frequency waves of stress and worry. A moment to take a few deep breaths and connect with the river of stillness within. This small amount of time can help you aim towards more harmony to infuse in your daily life.

We often wait until we have days off or a vacation before we immerse in what makes us feel tranquil. We don’t always have large windows everyday for what we may consider relaxing. We can steal moments to inject ripples of peace and joy into every day. Often it’s the small moments that make the big impacts when we create a little space for them.

The simple act of finding a few quiet moments somewhere in your day can manifest a ripple effect to penetrate your louder, busier times. Intentionally incorporating some harmony can carry you through your day more joyfully. It can buy you some space to notice how you are using your thoughts, words, and actions and give you some tools to calm down the chaos in your life. In this space, you have the opportunity to choose what stones you want to ripple in your life. Gaining the clarity of what you choose to say along with directing your thinking more, you will directly affect the kind of experiences you prefer to have.

The more you can choose your thoughts and words with awareness, the more you empower the captain in your life—which is YOU! We can give too much of our power away outside ourselves. We give it away to expectations of others. We give it away when we don’t tend to our emotions. And we certainly give it away when we allow too much noise from others and from social media that moves us away from our inner selves.

I encourage you to empower your stones that ripple through your life. When you choose little stones of peace, calmness, happiness, and joy, you ripple those into greater amounts in your life. Those small ripples turn into large ones expanding into the world. Be mindful of your stones and ripples. We are all contributing individually and collectively. We are aren’t only navigating our lives, but we are planting seeds and painting our world together!

Aug 07
3
Rest

Rest

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Too often I hear people refer to rest as if it’s only for the sick. Suggesting rest as a term of defeat or a 4-letter curse word. The importance of rest to enhance your stamina and perseverance is too often underrated, simply because many of us are taught to rest only when we are done rather than to rest along the way to fuel the momentum to our ends and goals.

I’ve listened to many motivational teachers over the years, especially in business trainings and seminars. Sayings I’ve heard most often repeated are “You can rest when you’re dead,” “Hustle is 24/7,” and one that makes me giggle the most is “Suffer now or suffer later.” If the only path towards your dreams is suffering, no wonder so many people are terrified of failure and going after their dreams. Now I’m not against motavation. I just think we may have been hammering it a little too hard.

I’ve found in reflecting on my successes that I’ve gotten where I am by being patient with my goals and hanging in there during the journey. The times I have tried the hustle approach, I have either run out of steam or crashed and burned. It took me a much longer time to get back up than if I would have learned better rest and balance along the way. Every time I tried to push my way to to my goals, I was ignoring the signals coming from my body, mind, and spirit. A few times my health even crashed to a scary place from too much hustle and grind.

The message I would like you to consider is taking care of your body, health, and mind to help you rise to your successes and goals. We have many successes and failures in life. At least if one grind doesn’t work out, you didn’t pay for it with your health and sanity. Every grind doesn’t pay off the way we may have planned. You can recoup and keep moving better when you have rest and balance added to your journey. If you fail or fall, it’s a bit easier to get up rather than experience much suffering and defeat.

Here is an example. Let’s say you want to drive a long distance trip to an exciting destination. Before you arrive, you are most likely going to stop for gas, stretch your legs, and maybe get some sleep. If you try to drive straight through the trip with no rest or refueling, you certainly can increase your chances of danger. Studies have shown if you drive long hours without sleep, you deprive yourself of your mental clarity, possibly causing a wreck or falling asleep at the wheel. Also, how far will your transportation go without the fuel? Just like pushing your vehicle too far and breaking down, you can push your body and health to the point of breaking down.

I’ve learned when I incorporate more rest and balance in my life and activities, I engage with much better clarity and momentum. I last in the long hauls better. Valuing my own reserves for fueling helps me set the boundaries I need to succeed to the end. I see so many people running out of steam trying to push through the expectations. Rather than including rest and restoration, they burn their adrenals, causing stress, high blood pressure, and many negative health effects. Once this has taken place for a period of time, coming back from negative health can be a harder journey, often causing even more major problems.

As another old saying goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” It may be better phrased as “All work and no play makes Jack a tired, sick boy.” I think the larger message is that there seems to be a time and place for everything. Balance can keep you from tipping your scales towards negative consequences. Even athletes understand the power of nutrition and balance to reach their heights. Work should be no different.

Perhaps a good reminder to keep you moving forward with greater balance is to think to yourself, The harder I work, the harder I need to rest— and the less you have to try to force yourself to do things your body and mind are simultaneously resisting. Learn to listen to your internal navigation system. It is designed to help you. Allow rest to launch you to better heights. Be an ally to yourself, not an enemy.

Jul 30
2
Problems

Problems

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We all run into problems from time to time. From small daily things to big unexpected events. The choice we have is in how we deal with our problems. Usually our first instinct to problems is resistance. It is something happening that we didn’t want or plan for. Often we fall into poor habits of thinking when we encounter problems.

Rather than focusing on solutions and opportunities, we may have created a habit of worrying and overanalyzing. We spend too much time focusing on the problems, and that habit creates more problems. We aren’t always taught to step back and look for the opportunities in the change or situation. We may have created our first instinct to think of worst-case scenarios and agonize over what could happen or go wrong.

When we tune into these thoughts and vibrations, we are actually attracting more negative outcomes with our stress and worry. Think of it like a domino effect. Once you knock the first one down, the rest follow after. Or there is an old saying that “birds of a feather flock together.” Your thoughts react very similarly. It’s like a chain effect. Once you are thinking positively or negatively, the next thought generally follows suit.

Now, you can turn negative worrisome thoughts around, but it may take a little practice and trickery to turn that momentum around. You may have to start slow to look for the positives in the situation. If you slow the focus down on the problem or the negativity, you can allow some space for other thoughts and feelings to come in. You may have to look for the silver lining. If you can find any good points to start with, you can turn the worry and troubling thoughts around by focusing on one good thought at a time. If you can get a few going, you can start the domino effect going in your favor.

It’s done by training your mind and subconscious to start looking at things more positively. When you can look for the positive points more often, you will create those habits of thinking. You don’t have to jump to stress and worry when a problem arises. The more you can practice, the stronger your abilities get. No one can promise you that situations and problems won’t pop up, but you can learn new and better ways to cope and deal with them.

Isn’t it nice to know that you can experience problems without things getting worse? It’s more about the forces you choose to add to your momentum of thinking. Learning to see the positive aspects instead of seeing everything that can go wrong can be a more empowering way to use your imagination. Utilize your gifts of thought in your favor. When you understand how powerful your thoughts really are, you can move them around in support of you.

Your mind generally leads you in one direction or another. The opposite of problems is assistance, help, benefit, peace, opening, or a good situation. The opposite of worry is calmness, cheer, certainty, pleasure, trust and reassurance. So you always have an option in which direction you are leading your thoughts. You can guide them towards more worrisome and problematic thoughts, or you can practice more regularly the more calm and reassuring thoughts.

I have found that I deal with my problems so much better and more clearly when I can take a little time to feel reassured. I have to build that trust and guidance from within. Often the answers we need are within ourselves. When we burden ourselves with the problems and worry, we can’t see a better solution awaiting.

The next time you start to notice and experience a problem, acknowledge your feelings and emotions surrounding it. See if you can find some positive things to focus on until you feel more centered and comforted. Once you can gain this perspective, you can allow more solutions in these opportunities. You may even surprise yourself and find a better direction. Many times problems that pop up are a blessing towards a better journey than we had originally planned.

Jul 24
2
Guiding our thoughts

Guiding Our Thoughts

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I’ve learned over the years that guiding your thoughts yields better results than trying to control them. Often when we have decided to aim to feel more positive by working on our thoughts, we tend to make it harder on ourselves by trying to force it. Many people teach in meditation that, rather than trying to stop all thoughts, we should learn to observe them and allow them to pass by. The same concept can be helpful in our everyday lives.

Many of us are living in a fast-paced, busy culture. Finding ways to destress and not feel overwhelmed can take some practice in how we experience our present. When you want to feel joyful and relaxed in your daily life, it is helpful to know that it’s not about trying to control every thought—it’s about learning to guide your thoughts. You do that by noticing how you are thinking more often.

The awareness of how you are feeling when things are busy is key. We often push through and do not pay attention when life is busy and stressful. We get through it by triggering our adrenaline. Our adrenaline is designed to kick in for emergency situations. When we get our adrenaline going daily by being stressed, our health and kidneys can be poorly affected.

We often get caught up in our busy world and forget to notice how little we are breathing deeply, feeling relaxed and balancing this pace. Even noticing many times in your day how you are feeling and breathing can be a small step into remembering to take deep breaths and feel calm.

Paying attention to the little moments in your day can provide a powerful yet small opportunity that is doable. For many, big changes are hard to do all at once. Instead of struggling to rise to overwhelming expectations, scale it back to some smaller steps. Think of it like eating your meal with smaller bites and slowing down. The idea is to pay attention throughout your day to notice when you are feeling those stressful and unpleasant feelings, and then to gently guide them towards more pleasing thoughts.

If our situations in life don’t provide much opportunity to feel calm, we have to find ways that are applicable in our lives to feel calm. Noticing when we are feeling stress and when our breathing gets shallow, we can take a second to take a deep breath and decide to think about something pleasing. Just for a moment. It doesn’t take much time or money to stop and think about either a pleasant memory, something you’re looking forward to, or something you’d enjoy. This immediately slows down your heart rate, allows more space to breathe deeply, and evokes some calmer emotions.

Once you feel a bit more calm, you can move through your day and handle more details with a bit more ease. It amazes me at how much better my decision making process is when I’m not feeling stressed. When I make decisions from a calmer place, I also feel more at peace after making them. You can feel more sure-footed. As you feel more ease through your day, you will in turn feel less stressed, less overwhelmed, and certainly less negative. This leads to better health and more positive feelings.

Guiding moves with more ease. Controlling is more forceful. Can you feel the difference between the two? It’s just a small adjustment towards feeling more joyful daily. The more joy you can harness more often, the happier your daily life will be. It amazes me how powerful small shifts can be. Perhaps it’s because they are easier and more applicable. Change can be more permanent when it’s comfortable and simple.

Remember that change doesn’t have to be hard and gigantic. It can be easily done and small-scale. It’s taking smaller steps and smaller bites. As the old saying goes: “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!”

Jul 16
2
Our minds

Our minds

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We often give technology more credit than we do the capabilities of our magical minds. Just like a computer downloads and stores information, so does our mind—but we have much more than a hard drive. Our mind may take us a few years to store science and advanced studies, but it may only take a second to download the information that you can burn yourself touching a hot surface. We are multifaceted in many ways.

It can take a computer programmer a period of time to download information, but we can’t teach a computer the powers we have like creativity, innovation, imagination, ideas, and visualizing. We forget how magnificently and capably we are made. The abilities and possibilities of what we can do are endless.

We continue to evolve, expand, and grow. Not only each of us, but collectively as a whole. We often get lost in our everyday tasks, focusing on our activities,, our responsibilities, and too often our problems. We forget the power we have in what we do with our minds. Where we focus our thoughts, emotions, ideas, and capabilities.

You were born with ingenuity. Creativity. Conjuring ideas and possibilities. Have you ever paid attention, when things are down to the wire, to the miracles you have performed in your life? I think when we can stop and take notice of things we didn’t think were possible turned into reality, we can let go of some of those strongholds of disbelief. You don’t have to have everything figured out to believe in what is possible. If that were the case, we certainly wouldn’t be on the internet or using smartphones.

It seems with our technological advancements we are just now understanding more of what the brain is capable of and how the mind functions.. We are learning that consciousness can’t quite be measured and that awareness exists outside of the brain. We are truly opening up to more ways we can work with our beautiful and creative minds. It seems amazing to me that, in addition to our talents and gifts, we may be competent at even more!

When we take the time to nourish and care for our thoughts and mind, we also enhance our abilities. We often forget how inventive and resourceful we are made to be. Our genius is within us all. Don’t discredit yourself for not knowing it all. No computer does, and man has to download it to begin with. The more you can appreciate and recognize your greatness, the more you empower what is possible!

Our minds are one of the greatest values and assets we have to help with our health, body, and soul. The more we can treasure and respect it, the more knowledge we can gain and the higher we can soar together. Be open to learning new things. Understand there is always more to know. The less we close our minds, the more possibilities we open ourselves up to. The more we open ourselves up to the possible, the less we limit our potential.

I encourage you to be open and keep unlocking your potential. The sky is not the limit. Only your mind is. You don’t have to keep it locked up or grounded. You just have to first believe. I used to have a bad habit of saying we all have our limits. Now I understand that I am the only one who sets those limits. To set any boundaries restricts what we can do. Take off your constraints and allow your mind to keep expanding. You may be pleasantly surprised at how far you can go!

Jul 10
3
Stress

Managing Stress

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In life we can be frequently faced with stress. Whether big or small, often it is a big nuisance in our lives. In my career, stress appears to be one of the biggest complaints and struggles people deal with. I’ve not met anyone who has been able to completely avoid experiencing stress.

With practice we can certainly learn how to manage stress and improve our reactions to it. When we stress over our stress, we create an even bigger mess than the one we are already faced with. Not only does stress create much strife, but it also affects our health more than we may realize.

When we don’t find ways to balance the stress in our lives, it often manifests in health problems and unhappiness.

When we take the approach to fight stress head on, we end up creating more stress for ourselves. It isn’t always possible to eliminate stress from our lives, as circumstances can be out of our control. We can, however, accept that when it arises we can practice better management.

We can think of stress as an alarm system. Rather than struggling so much with it, we can look at it as an advantage of communication from our inner self. When stress arises we can understand that our body, mind, and spirit are letting us know something is out of our alignment.

It could be simply that we need to step back and reevaluate our situation. Slowing down to look at things a little more closely can be therapeutic when dealing with stress. When we can give ourselves the space to calm down and center ourselves, we can find clarity in handling our stress. It can also allow us the time to shift our perspective away from feeling stressed. We can have stress without panicking or making our stress bigger by the way we perceive it.

Many times we stress because we don’t know the outcome. We create bigger unease and stress by imagining worst-case scenarios. Overthinking can escalate quickly, causing us to stress further. Making some peace with stress enables us to work through it better. Accepting how things are can enable more choices in how we deal with our stresses.

Stress can be a healthy communitunicator in our lives rather than an exhausting battle. When you feel stressed try to step back a little and ask yourself what the stress is trying to communicate with you.

You can acknowledge stress as an alarm system, warning you to listen to your body and what it’s trying to tell you. Maybe you’ve said yes to what you really are miserable doing. Or you need to rest and take better care of yourself. Just because your mind wants to continue pushing you forward without taking a break doesn’t mean it’s good for your body or health. We may not be taught to listen to what our bodies are communicating, but we can learn from it if we do. I’ve seen people get severely ill too many times because they didn’t listen to their alarms. I’ve also learned a few of those lessons the hard way. They aren’t easy lessons when we ignore those nudges.

Reevaluating how we spend our time and energy can help reveal where our stresses can be coming from. Take some time to see what is really necessary. Sometimes it simply comes from our hold on how we think things need to be. When we can let go of our expectations, we can release a lot of our stress.

When we can honor what we need for our health by setting boundaries for self-care, we can heal many of the effects of stress. It’s helpful to take some time or give ourselves a little space to understand what we need more or less of in our life.

Habits can be tricky to break, but if we can notice when we make the statement we feel or are experiencing stress, we can start by pondering what is off-balance. Rather than use the word “stress,” change the language to “off-balance.” When something is off-balance, we can look at ways to try to balance it out. The word “stress” in and of itself seems to amplify powerlessness. It’s like an escape to avoid looking deeper into what is really going on inside ourselves.

You’re probably not going to eliminate all your stress in one day. What you can do is practice more things that calm and center you to manage the stresses in your life. Managing isn’t always about eliminating. It’s mostly about guiding, controlling, and directing.

Stress can overwhelm us and bring us all to our knees at times. We can empower ourselves away from the stress mentality and towards more balance in our lives. Stress is screaming for the need to neutralize. We all de-stress differently. The key point is honoring the importance of some equalization. This is how we can live and manage with stress present in our lives.

Jun 25
2
Frustration

Frustration

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One common emotion we may battle is frustration. Frustration leads to tension and stress. Once we feel stressed it can take a little longer to come back from that feeling. But if we can catch ourselves as soon as we get frustrated, we can work with our triggers and reactions more readily.

Catching frustration early may take a little practice in paying attention to how often and how easily we get frustrated. When we get frustrated, we are usually irritated or annoyed that something isn’t going the way we either want it to or expect it to. That agony can build into a tantrum. In the area I grew up in, I frequently heard people refer to reaching these levels of anger as “pitching a fit.”

Before we escalate to that level of frustration and stress, we can take a moment when we first feel that tension and frustration building to take a few deep breaths. We can stop and ask ourselves if we can let go a little bit of our expectations in that moment or situation. Often I’ve noticed that when I can just walk away from the situation, either it ends up resolving itself or I am able to see it a little differently.

Giving ourselves a little space between what is frustrating us and our reactions can give us time to calm down. That mini-break can create an opportunity to understand whether or not what we are getting frustrated about really is a big deal. It’s like the popular saying don’t sweat the small stuff. Many times we make a bigger deal out of things than needs to be made. Especially if they’re causing us stress and anger.

There are times that we can do little about big frustrating circumstances. All we have control over is how it makes us feel. When we can’t control things we tend to become frustrated. Other times we just want things to get done fast and done the way we want them. If we can let go of how things unfold, we can allow more peace and understanding into our perspective. Or simply create a calmer, clearer state of mind to deal with what is going on.

Frustrations like hurrying and worrying are habits we create. Often those build, and frustration becomes our initial reaction when things don’t go our way. Being aware of when we get frustrated can show us how often we are reacting that way. The more we can recognize this reaction, the more we can start retraining the mind to have more pleasant reactions.

A little helpful hint to keep in mind when we are dealing with our frustrations is that often we want the issue to be resolved fast. Remembering that things can take time to work out for the better outcome can help you loosen your grip on being frustrated. If things go too fast, they may not work properly and we may end up with a bigger disaster on our hands.

I’ve often found myself feeling frustrated with technology. Although I use technology frequently, it isn’t always my strong suit. I’ve had to learn much patience to keep my stress levels and frustration down. When I’m experiencing glitches I have learned the best thing I can do in that moment is to walk away and spend my energy doing something else. I may choose another task to work productively at, or I may just need to take a short break.

Once I spend some time away from what I am frustrated with, either I find I can deal with it better because I have gained a calmer state of mind, or it miraculously works itself out. It takes me longer and probably wastes more energy to try to figure out what the problem was than it does to accept I simply needed some space between the issue and my frustration.

Frustration is like anger and other negative emotions that may feel hard or tricky to deal with. As we practice our reactions and awareness more, we can catch our frustration earlier and balance it with more positive emotions. It certainly can lessen our stressors and the way our frustration makes us feel!

Jun 19
0

Learning

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So many times in our life we find ourselves back inside a learning curve, whether it be learning a new medium, adjusting to a change in career, figuring out evolving technologies, or simply navigating change. Life seems to be designed to keep moving and certainly promises changes. If we can understand the concept of life constantly moving, we can also accept a little ebb and flow in our lives. If we can be open to the changes, we can open ourselves for better learning and growing in a positive way.

Many times we find ourselves experiencing sudden life changes due to unforeseen circumstances. Initially they may appear to be things we’d rather not want to move through. It can easily align us with a resisting perspective. Change isn’t always the easiest for us when we were comfortable with how things used to be. Even further, we may be more resistant to the thoughts and fears of the unknown. It’s common among many of us to be a little afraid of change.

We can still move forward even without knowing the outcome by letting go of some resistance. We can start by being more open-minded to changes and curves. We often have opportunities for learning in life. When we are fighting change, we close ourselves off to more possibilities. To move forward with more grace and ease, it can be helpful to let go of our stubbornness.

We often act stubbornly when we feel vulnerable. Operating from stubbornness can close us off to learning and understanding. We can miss a lot of growth when we are caught up in our heads (egos) with stubbornness rather than being open to what we can learn from others and our universe around us.

To learn often requires seeing and understanding from another perspective. Our egos can feel a little bruised when we struggle while learning. This can create resistance and a lack of understanding.

I’ve found learning to be a more powerful experience when I can be open and truly listen rather than battle with what my ego thinks it knows. I think we do this often inside our minds more than we would like to admit or consider. Learning really requires loosening up from what we already know. Not knowing makes many of us feel vulnerable.

Being open when we feel vulnerable can provide us with an opportunity to tap into our own superpowers. We have the ability to tap into our own wonderful creative energy and guidance from within when we allow ourselves to tune in as we move through unexpected circumstances.

Life provides an enormous number of opportunities to view things from a variety of perspectives. Whether we choose to see them differently is up to us. Learning doesn’t have to scare us so much. We can see it as an opportunity to receive more helpful tools.

Learning can empower and enrich our lives. We can allow more openness for perspectives other than our own. When we are open with ourselves we can hold that healthy space for others. As the universe inevitably expands and grows, so can we. And even when the changes are unexpected, we can approach them with joy rather than fear.

Learning can not only take you many new places, but help you find more peace and understanding. When you feel change coming, try to be more open and receptive to allow learning into your experience. What we learn can boost and enhance our lives!

Jun 12
2
Should

Should

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Many times we are not mindful of the words we habitually use. The habits we create with our words can directly cause what we are experiencing. One disempowering verb I hear used often is “should.” First off, “should” seems like such a bossy term. When we tell others what they “should” do, we are imposing our own beliefs onto them.

Often our beliefs and perspectives are different. When we throw the “should” verb towards another we are also throwing our judgments as well. Rather than being helpful we are invading or disturbing another’s view. “Should” really is a standard we have decided to uphold for ourselves, but we aren’t being careful enough with how we habitually use it.

It’s a bit like not minding your own business. We all have choices in how we handle things. Experience can also teach us how to react in the future. When we infringe on another’s experience with our “shoulds,” we disempower ours and their own.

The idea of how someone “should” take care of their home, kids, or life is certainly diverse among us all. Encroaching on another’s lifestyle makes it difficult to argue for the freedom of your own. To choose one’s own career, home, personal fashion, or perhaps religion seems to be a common desire. As you decide to resonate what is important or joyful to you, it helps to hold the same space for others.

Just because others’ lifestyles and choices are different than our own doesn’t mean we have to agree. You can decide something is wrong or unpleasant for you, but try to accept that it may be joyful for another. When we use the verb “should,” we are not allowing for the same freedoms we wish and choose for ourselves. We make choices from our own perspectives. When we don’t walk in another’s shoes, we may not understand their choices. Rather than expending our “shoulds”/feelings onto them, we can empower each other with an open mind amongst our differences. I believe we can hold healthy space even if we disagree.

We certainly weren’t created the same. We look and act differently in a variety of ways. We also won’t experience the same perspective. Having different experiences can lead us to different conclusions. Think of it this way: The astronauts in the rocketship are going to see a different view than the people at the space command center. Yet they are both needed for a successful launch.

“Should” closes the door to different options and opinions. We can halt kindness and understanding with our “shoulds.” Pay attention to how often you project your “shoulds” and judgments in situations. See if you can allow for some freedom of differences. It may enhance the understanding and healing within yourself and your relationships.

Jun 05
2
Need

Need

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Often when I hear others say the phrase “I need,” it makes me cringe. It seems to be a common bad habit that may be holding us back rather than moving us in the direction we want to go. Once I really understood the power we have with our words and energy, I had to break this habit myself. When we are in need of something, we are lining up with the energy of lack. I’m not saying you can’t be aware of what you would like more of, but often we focus too long on the lack of what we feel we need.

This focus aligns you with more need. The statements we make can empower or disempower our lives. I don’t think many of us understand that “need” can be a very disempowering word. It’s a bit like focusing on the problem rather than tuning into the solution. Once you have identified that you want to go in a different direction than you are currently facing, you will move along further and faster if you let go of your need and embrace the fulfillment of appreciating what you do have. Focusing on what we do have invites more. We do that by not only focusing on the direction we are heading, but using words and emotions that line up with what we would like to have, do, or see.

For example, if you want to attract a loving partner, you will be more powerful at attracting them when you are a loving partner. If you want to experience more peace from others, you begin with working on peace within yourself. If you want to attract more abundance in your life, you can empower your energy by first giving of yourself, whether money, time, or energy. You give out and emit the frequency that you wish to receive.

We may not only be habitual in making statements about what we need, we also disempower others by telling them what they need. I know when someone starts a conversation off telling me what I need, I immediately start resisting their suggestions and building a wall. It’s a little pet peeve of mine. I feel we are much more powerful and helpful to others when we can share helpful information rather than pointing out their needs or lack. Often we are selling things for a living. Whether it be products, information, business, health care, or experience, we can be mindful of the words we use when interacting with customers.

For example I have run across this scenario so often through the years: When someone tells me “you need to…”, I want to stop them and say “You will get much further with me if you give me suggestions of what I could do.” Being a business owner for years, I’m approached by salespeople often. It may seem small and silly, but if you are attempting to sell me something, I am more receptive depending on how you approach me. I find I’m not alone in feeling this way. One thing I have learned repeatedly through the years is that we can be more powerful when we empower others. This includes the way we sell and do business.

Anytime I approach a client by telling them what they need to do, I automatically feel them tighten and close up before I get the opportunity to deliver the goods or information. The way you communicate with people can be magical and it can also quickly slam a door. I know many of us in the business world are taught to find people’s needs and target them. There can be value in being in a compassionate place to study the needs of others so you may can help others, but there can also be a difference in how you approach them,

The problem we can easily run into is focusing on others’ lacks and needs. . Emotionally we may not get the chance to share the help they can use because of the words we speak and energy we use to share our gifts and products. I’m not saying that this will always guarantee a sale or lead, but I’ve learned it can get you a lot further towards those goals.

Think of it this way: If someone were to offer you help, would you be more receptive if they demonstrated what they have to offer, or if they pointed out your lack and needs? Often we are taught how to sell without putting ourselves in the customer’s shoes. If you don’t like to be approached that way, why would they? I’m encouraging you to be mindful of how you like to be approached before approaching anyone.

The way we approach others and the words we use for our lives can powerfully dictate our experience and the direction we go in. So why not empower what you can to move you further towards your desires and goals? Rather than focusing on our needs and lack for ourselves and others, try to empower your words further by focusing on the intended direction.

I generally find that people like options to choose for themselves. It seems when you can empower people towards their own choices and decisions you are more helpful to them. If you have advice or business of value to offer others, I would encourage your selling points to give them a variety of ways to help. When you truly empower others, you are not only developing a deeper relationship with them, you do so with yourself.

Telling others what they need or need to do takes you away from listening and understanding them. I challenge you rather than focusing on needs, try to approach the direction that empowers the haves, the plenty, the options, and the goals.