Depending on Others for Happiness

Happiness

Do you depend on anyone outside yourself for happiness? Meaning, are you happy based on how other people treat you? When we let reactions from other people control our emotions we give our power away. It’s a bit like bouncing around bumper cars when your reactions feed off how other people treat you. When your foot is no longer on the gas or the brakes , you give more control to the bounce.

A little secret is that other people cannot be responsible for your happiness. They can only be responsible for their own. I often hear people complain about how their mate, family, or friends treat them. Do you ever catch yourself saying or thinking if only they would treat me better, I would be happy? When you hand over your happiness based on how someone else treats you, you will have a difficult time maintaining your happiness. It’s about as predictable as the weather. You really do not know for sure how the wind will blow.

The good news is you can be happy regardless of how anyone else treats you. We aren’t often taught that when people react towards us it has less to do with us, and rather is a reflection of how they feel inside. I find some peace knowing I can’t make other people happy either. That would be a tough job to think I was responsible for the happiness of others. You could never fully keep up. It would be exhausting trying to keep any one person or group of people happy.

Happiness is an inside job for each of us. That is a breath of fresh air to me. Knowing this can lighten your load. The happier you are, the more joy you can bring to the table of life. Do you enjoy being around someone who is generally happy, or do you prefer someone who is moody and complains often? Your mood can be uplifting to those around you or it can be a downer. How other people feel and respond to you is up to them.

If you are generally a joyful happy person, you’ve probably practiced it for some time. You can come across a grouchy negative person and not be pulled down. Mainly because you are in control of your own happiness. If you haven’t practiced your footing, and come across a negative upsetting person, you can be easily swayed and pulled into an unhappy state. If you find yourself getting upset, put in a bad mood, or letting others hurt your feelings easy, you just haven’t practiced the inside job enough. You are giving your power of emotion away to someone that can’t maintain your joy for you.

When someone says something that you find hurtful or offensive, don’t take it personally, because it’s reflective of their own different point of view. Meaning they are limited to what they know and what is inside your heart. They are showing you what is inside theirs. The next time you find yourself upset from what someone has said to you, take a step back and ask yourself what caused those feelings. Notice the energy and the power you give them by being upset. We can step back and realize that we all have limited perceptions of things and when we react towards one another, we may be working through some things ourselves. Before you give your peace away, consider not taking reactions from others personally. We often work from subconscious levels and may not realize what we are revealing to another.

How you react back and respond reveals what you have on the inside. Hence happiness and joy are an inside job. Only you have control over those emotions, unless you choose to give it away. The choice is yours. If you are not used to feeling grounded and happy, it comes with practice. Every day. The next time you feel you are allowing someone’s actions or words to upset you, step back and choose your emotions according to how you want to feel. You do not have to allow them your peace. You do not have to attend every argument, disagreement, or tongue lashing you’re invited to. The argument is really within themselves.

I encourage you to try to be more aware of your feelings and responses to others. It can build your sure footing in happiness and joy. You can be kind to another even when they are having a bad day or suffering. You do not have to allow their energy to over take your own. Perhaps if you get good enough at it, your positive energy can bring theirs to a higher level and provide them some relief. Love is a stronger energy. If practiced enough, we have the power to not only heal ourselves, but be a pioneer for others. Rather than depend on others for happiness, give the power of your happiness back to yourself.