Many of us may think of grief when it comes to death, but grief comes in many packages and sizes. We grieve not only in the loss from death, but the loss of relationships, loss of a marraige, the loss of a job, and loss of expectations. Many times in life we find ourselves dealing with grief in one form or another. We don’t always have the language and tools to express ourselves and heal.
Grief is like a storm of emotions you didn’t know was possible. Grief is hard to describe because it’s felt and experienced so differently by everyone. I remember hearing someone describe grief like an onion, each comes apart differently.
Grief takes you to a depth seemingly impossible. In the midst of grief we struggle to see our way out. A moment when emotional pain feels physical. A stab wound come to life emotionally. No matter what our titles, accomplishments, or roles we carry around are in life we all are stripped bare naked within grief.
It feels like time standing in the midst of an illusion. Regardless of our roles, titles, and accomplishments, in grief we all experience this humanness. This place of depth deep within. An experience and feelings you could not have imagined. Life jerking you into the present. An elation of rawness. Exposing something in your core.
It can not be measured nor assigned to time. It flows and experienced differently by everyone it meets. It seems to have memory that knows no time or space and can be transported at a thought’s glance.
The surreality about grief is during the midst of it, life moves on. All around you. You may be able to even notice the differences in the vibrations of life simultaneously. It’s like scrambling our way out all the while noticing those around us being “normal”. Acknowledging how we took the day before for advantage.
Grief is normal. It is part of our human experience at times. We can heal from it. We can gain strenth from it. We can also find the gifts within. You can choose to allow it to take hold on the inside. Some struggle letting it go. Some fight it. I think some sew it to the inside of their soul. There really isn’t a right or wrong way to handle it. I do believe it will change you. How it changes you and what you do with it is up to you.
Friends can help. Counseling can help. Love can help. Time can help. Sharing and compassion can help. Many tools can be implemented for feeling and healing. Often it’s the miracles that show up. The blessings in people that help. Our friends and family who help uplift us, hold us, or simply give their presence. We don’t always know what we need to heal and move foreword, but like life it’s a journey.
Each day of grief will be different. Some days will be easier than others. It’s often about allowing the measurements, expectations, and how it should look like go. Letting it be what it is can be an empowering energy to move through it. It can be a demonstration of how much you love.
I’ve learned to give grief it’s time and space. It is especially worth while to remind myself it’s temporary. As other grief has came and gone through in my life, I do move on. I will experience joy and happiness again. It won’t always feel like grief. It’s welcoming it and allowing the energy through. To stay can be damaging. We can pass that energy on to others or simply just continue torturing ourselves with it.
I think it’s good to remember we are allowed these emotions going through life. It’s part of processing and accepting things that have happened. It can eventually become a beautiful metaphor of living life. Getting the rainbow after the storms. The promise of hope, and moving on to tomorrow. It can be a fierce reminder of each mundane day as a gift.
So remember in times of grief to be gentle and caring with yourself. For this process and power is not there to permeately harm you, but an opportunity for love, compassion, and hope. It takes time. And each of us need a different amount of time. Lend a hug, love, helping hand, or simply be present for those grieving around you because there will be times you’ll need it as well. Treat grief with love and respect. Honor it’s presence to help you in the tough times. And remember this too shall pass…