Self Doubts

Something I think we all struggle with and have in common are self doubts. I have never encountered another human being who didn’t experience them too. Even with great experience and in our elements, we still experience some self doubt. The point I want to make is that no matter what you do, you will most likely experience some doubts along the way. Since it’s a dilemma that we all share, why not go for your dreams and callings anyway?

You won’t ever get to a place that you will be fully prepared and are guaranteed it’s the “right” step. I don’t care how much rationale and justification you’ve given it. You will still have some doubts here and there. The good news is you don’t have to have all your ducks in a row or circumstances in place to go for those dreams and goals. The steps seem to just unfold as you go.

We often stay in our comfort zones or what we may consider stability over the fear of the journey. When we stand with our excuses and limitations we hold ourselves back from the progress and potentiality of our goals and dreams.

Is it going to be scary? Probably. Are you going to have doubts? Most likely. No one gets anywhere without them. Even within your safe comfort zones. So why not go for the the things that bring you joy?

You can also go about it a couple of different ways. First you can thank the doubts for letting you know you’re right on track. Many of our doubts have been planted over time from other fearful people. We adopted them and filed them in our minds. So when the naysayers pop up in your mind or in an actual individual, know that fears generally come from our egos and not our hearts and intuition. Fears are often made up scenarios and using our imagination poorly.

I can also say many of the people you admire and entertain the thoughts of wanting to be in their shoes also felt some fears and had doubts as well. The only difference that helped them get where they are today is to keep moving forward despite the doubts and fears. Regardless of how “sound” of a decision you think you’ve made, chances are self doubt will creep in.

Another way to approach those doubts is to talk back to them. Thank them and put them in their place. You don’t have to accept them as truth. Most often they really aren’t true anyway. Rather than fighting in your mind constantly, thank the doubts for trying to look out for you and help you, but acknowledge you are moving forward anyway. It’s your life. You don’t have to let your mind steer everything—really!

I have found the more I practice, the easier it gets. I still get self doubts too, but I don’t let them stop me so much any more. And they have lessened over time as well. I have a wonderful friend and colleague named Eleanor. We get to explore many creative endeavors and she not only helps me with my creative side, her friendship offers much support and therapy in the process. We often joke about the “committee” in our heads. It’s like a little panel of voices that compete for attention. There is the judge, the doubter, the worrier, the naysayer…and so on. I’m sure we each have different voices on our committee and hopefully you’ve got a few positives in there too, but the point is we all have a committee.

When I struggle with my committee, my friend Eleanor will call them out. She will say, “Now, is this how you really feel, or are you allowing your committee too much air time?” Just because they have a voice in your mind does not mean you have to accept them as your truth. Nor does it mean you have to hold yourself back from your own goals and dreams. You walk through them with the doubts.

You can survive self doubts and make some peace with them. Knowing that they affect most of us, it may help you navigate them better daily. Allowing doubts to move through you without adopting them for beliefs can help you to move forward with your dreams. The more you stand up to those doubts, the more positivity you can allow in your mind. You get to choose which thoughts are true and good for you, and you are allowed to let many doubts go.