Relationships

Relationships

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Our relationships are more than a contract of love. They are also opportunities for growth and expansion. In all of our relationships, we have times of good connection and bad. Through the journey in life we have many opportunities to expand love. We also have the opportunity to disconnect and separate.

Many of our relationships can be challenging. We aren’t always surrounded by our ideal set of people. We attract what we need to teach us what we are vibrating inside. Our relationships can often reflect the things we haven’t dealt with. No matter how much or how deep our love is for our families, spouses, and children, we will have interactions that we provoke from one another. Things we have the opportunity to face and work out.

Often our triggers play out through defensiveness. When we feel defensive or hurt, we are preventing ourselves from listening openly with our hearts. We may have some deep-rooted seeds from childhood or past experiences that we haven’t worked out and they play into our relationships later. Often when we don’t do the inner work, we may not even be aware of our triggers or the inner walls we’ve built.

We may have many excuses and reasons for our defensiveness, but we also are ignoring our opportunity to grow. This can affect our feeling of wholeness. When we feel defensive, we shut down and put up our shields. We can’t let much love in. Not only are we blocking the love from ourselves, we are experiencing more difficulty in our relationships.

It does require a bit of trust from yourself. We don’t always learn these foundations to aid in our relationships. When we point fingers and blame, we avoid seeing the truth within. We all have triggers we run up against, but to transcend them, we need to be more open and honest with ourselves about why we feel the way we do. Most of the time what triggered the emotion had little to do with the seed of our issue.

We all act as mirrors for each other. It’s not always easy to acknowledge that the aspect we don’t like to see in another is what is coming from ourselves. It takes practice to think about our reactions before they come out of our mouths. It takes more openness and patience to move through what emotions we are experiencing and what we are protecting ourselves from.

We use our emotional shields to try to protect ourselves, but they usually keep showing up until we deal with them. We are wired to feel instinctively protective, but we are also capable of transcending pain. This can certainly separate our connection with ourselves and each other. There is a time to protect ourselves from imminent harm and danger, but what I’m referring to is how our shields and defensiveness plays out into our relationships. Especially in our discussions, arguments, and disagreements.

We don’t always heal our triggers in one discussion or instant, but we can learn to be more aware of what is coming out and going on within. When we can listen more openly;, we can not only deepen our connection in our relationships, but also in ourselves. The more we face ourselves and heal our wounds, the more we raise our frequency and help those around us create the space to do the same. Our own healing heals the world. Together can help each other grow and heal.

Embrace the mess

Embrace The Mess

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The things I’ve learned the most from on my journey to reach my dreams are the many messes I’ve made along the way. (“Mess” is just a word I like to use for when we can’t understand what is happening or when we come up against unknowns.) To learn to embrace the mess is where the magic tends to happen. We often think that if we have a well designed plan we avoid the messes and problems. Well, my friend, I’m here to inform you that the messes will be there at times and can add some value.

Sometimes the value is the simple appreciation you gain in obtaining your goals. They can be a teacher in things that work well and things to avoid. They may be the fork in the road to lead you in a better direction. Although our minds can envision many goals, we don’t get the crystal ball to know all the details we will need before we embark. This fear is often what stops us in beginning journeys or gathering the courage to follow our dreams.

The beauty is that you can experience your dreams through the messes. You will go through many experiences along the way. Many times when you reach a goal or an accomplishment, it isn’t until then that you notice your experience and knowledge came from the journey and not the end goal. The messes can help you gain the experience you may need and make you stronger by the time you reach your destination.

The point is that just like life will reveal some messes, you get them along with your passions and purposes as well. Learning to embrace the mess of the unknown is a way to move through them without giving up. Just because you move through a difficult fork in the road, doesn’t mean you have to throw in the towel or that it isn’t going to work out. Anything worth a journey is going to show you some bumps and upheavals.

I’ve also found in looking back at some adventures, they probably would have been boring or lost momentum if I didn’t get to experience some messes along the way. The messes are often what makes the great story. Imagine watching a movie without any conflict or plot. I know my family often gets bored with movies if they don’t involve some action!.

We can embrace the messes in the journey and view them as our exciting points and moments along the way. We often react with despair when things do not move smoothly and difficulties arise. It can take a different way of looking at things to move through them. Especially problems we encounter. It’s a choice in how we see our messes. Are we viewing them as problems, or as a balance to a better solution? If the opportunity didn’t present itself, you may not see the need to change it.

Think about it as a leaky faucet. You could get angry that the faucet is leaking, or you could be grateful that you found it before major damage was done. You at least had the opportunity to try to take care of it before a worse outcome presented itself. I’m sure there are some things we can often agree on. It’s not always fun to do home repairs and pay taxes. But we can choose a more positive approach to those things. If we have home repairs, it means we have a home. If we have taxes to pay, we have some money to circulate. I know some people who love home repairs and that is why they do it for a living. They like the adventure of solving those problems for people.

We all move through messes differently. We can embrace them as puzzles to solve. We can also seek help from those who enjoy the puzzles and mystery. Regardless of how we choose to handle them, we have the option in our reactions to them. When you change the energy of a mess or problem to an opportunity or a blessing, not only do you empower yourself in how you handle it, but you also raise the vibration of how you experience it. How you move through the messes is a choice.

You have the option to move through them with anger and frustration. Perhaps even kicking and screaming along the way. Or… You can infuse them with some hope, faith, and maybe even some joy. Being in peace doesn’t mean nothing will ever disturb you; it means you can experience each disturbance calmly and resiliently. As we move through life and along our journeys, we have a choice to embrace our messes and to move through them with more grace and ease. When you can appreciate the obstacles, you may be able to see more possibilities and receive more solutions just by changing the energy you infuse them with. I’m a firm believer that you can change your outcome by adjusting your attitude.

Focus on your feeling

Focus On Your Feeling

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When you can focus on your feelings, you are able to understand what is coming into your life and the option to change it. We aren’t taught in our society how powerful our thoughts and feelings are. Once you know your thoughts turn into things, you can use this leverage to your advantage in your life.

I often find that people who are generally sarcastic and pessimistic do not realize they are bringing more negativity to them. What you project out into the world is what you attract and see more of. Basically the more you complain, the more you will find things to complain about. The troubling part is that it can become a habit that hurts you more than you may notice.

The good news is that you have a choice every day in each moment of how you look at things and what you feel. You can change any habit around, but it doesn’t seem to happen immediately often. To change any habit, it requires practicing it repeatedly. Once you do this long enough, you reprogram your subconscious mind to develop the habit into the better one. Then it becomes second nature in your thoughts and reactions.

For example, let’s say you are predominantly negative. If you notice yourself mostly complaining or saying pessimistic things, you are pulling this from other people you interact with and from the universe. It really helps to pay attention to the thoughts you are thinking, the feelings you are feeling, and the words you are saying. Once you are aware of these habits, you can better understand what you are experiencing in life. You may also be able to understand the people whom you have attracted in your life.

If you are feeling predominantly positive and good things continue to improve for you, you have a strong foundation to build upon. I highly encourage you to keep up the good work. You will reap more and more rewards for the kindness and positivity you put out into the world.

If you feel like things look pretty gloomy or you just notice how bitter and negative you feel, you can slow it down and start turning it around. It doesn’t happen all at once, and often baby steps are the easiest. I can tell you from experience and in practicing my better thoughts the past few years, it took patience and persistence. Science also shows you can turn it around and reprogram those pesky habits.

The more you practice and the more you can pivot the negative feelings around, the easier it gets. Just like going to the gym and building muscles, you get stronger. As we find ourselves in the New Year, we often see it as a new start with new opportunities. Many people take this time to create new goals, discover improved ways of living, or set their minds to accomplish better intentions. Some of the top changes that many intend to make are to lose weight, eat healthier, go to the gym, quit smoking, and reorganize their homes.

All these goals can be beneficial goals if they’re the changes you desire, but some helpful tips can make it easier for you to accomplish these changes. Many times we start out with some strong momentum and find ourselves falling off the wagon or not seeing our goals through. It feels like a crushing defeat when you accomplish your goals only to return to the old ways before the end of the year.

To truly change our habits requires retraining and rewiring in the brain. We are often taught it’s action oriented, but if you do not successfully retrain those subconscious habits, our brain is setup to return to our old default patterns simply because we have practiced them for so long. We trained them that way to begin with. The more we can understand how our minds work and are designed, the more we can use it to our advantage. It takes some cleaning up of the mind’s habits to reach our goals.

It really is changing our mindsets first. And they take practice to see the manifestations. Think of it like cleaning out and organizing your closet. We get rid of things we don’t use anymore and organize our belongings to be more functional. The same goes for our minds as well. If we can recognize the patterns that aren’t serving us well, we can catch them before we act on them.

It takes awareness and practice. As we are aware of the habits we would like to change, we can then notice how we sabotage ourselves with our own thinking. To turn it around we have to slow the momentum of those habits and continue practicing the new changes repeatedly. Over time we can see and feel the improvements. It may be a slower process, but in the long haul it is how we permanently make the changes that are often temporary. It is a bit more than just reading inspirational quotes that make those changes.

The inspiration can certainly help get us going, but it’s the repeated practice in our thinking that aligns us with our goals. Often we do not take the time to identify why we are doing the habits we want to change to begin with.

It starts with our emotions. Many times we overeat, smoke, or live more in chaos in response to stress. Until we tackle the emotions behind the stress, our brains fall back into those subconscious habits. It helps to start slowly and gently. Be aware of how you are feeling when you are performing the habit you want to change. Are you present during these moments? Start to break down what relief you get when you do the habit. When you can become aware of your triggers, you can either replace or create a different way of responding.

Setting intentions is only the beginning of change. It takes the daily practice to receive the turn around. The good news is that your brain is capable of rewiring anything. Really! There is much research and scientific evidence now that proves anything is possible. There are reports and studies of people healing diseases and disabilities and attracting their dreams into their lives, all using their minds. The healing starts in the mind first.

I’m not saying actions never produce results, but when you get down to retraining and rewiring your habits from your mind, you leverage much more power than trying to hammer them out like a drill sergeant. It is the difference in trying to force things to happen versus allowing the flow to sail you.

We are usually very motivated and excited in the beginning, but when it seems to get challenging, I encourage you to work with your mind and emotions. If it’s worth it, it helps to understand it’s worth the time to change it. You are also more powerful when you can love yourself more during the process. When you are negative towards yourself and your emotions, you are struggling uphill against them. When you are loving towards yourself, you get a periscope look into what you’re trying to heal or avoid.

This takes time, patience, and love. You most likely developed the habits over time and replacing these ways of thinking takes time as well. Remind yourself of that, and of how powerful and capable your brain really is. Talk to yourself like you are your friend on this journey. Your body and mind need your support to perform their miraculous new changes! . In those first steps when we don’t get the results quickly, we may disbelieve the change is possible. That is how we easily slide back into our old habits. Just like weeding a garden so new growth can come through in the spring, we need to do the same for our minds.

It may take some time to replace our weeds with seeds. If you observe or study a garden, it takes some time, love, and patience to grow our fruits, vegetables, and flowers. Remember this as you feel challenged in the process of change. You have to be as gentle with yourself as if you are caring for your own plants and gardens. Just as they respond more positively with love, so do you.

I encourage you not to give up on yourself and keep going. Setbacks and falls are just feedback in what you’re thinking. Rather than getting frustrated or beating yourself up, use the knowledge to see where you can heal those triggers. Treat yourself with loving kindness so you can bounce upwards to those higher vibrations and better feelings. The better you feel, the better life can get. Focus on those feelings.
When you feel good, focus on all the things working well. When you feel bad or negative, work on rotating those around by noticing your responses and figuring out how you may can change them for the better.

It’s a daily practice. It requires paying attention and focusing on your feelings each day. The more aware you are, the better you can choose what is best for you.

What does it mean to disagree

What Does It Mean To Disagree

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What does it mean to disagree? Often when we disagree with another, we can get stuck in a loop of our own perspective. It’s difficult to slow down or stop the momentum once you are engaged in a heated discussion or disagreement. If you can reflect on the experience, you could grow.

Though it’s not my strong suit, I’ve been working on being a better listener. In this I find that when we argue and communicate with another, we are often distracted by thinking of our own response rather than truly hearing the other’s perspective. Our egos can fixate on wanting to be “right” or proving our own points. Whether or not we agree with what the person is saying, we can listen to allow some understanding of why they feel or see the way they do.

When we truly use the art of listening, not only are we hearing the person from a deeper level, we are more present with them. We are holding the space to let them express their feelings and perspective, and we are respecting their time to communicate. If we can allow them the time to share their experience before wanting to jump in, argue, or respond, we allow a deeper connection.

I’m still practicing on this myself, but I’m learning if I respond too quickly, I miss the opportunity for the growth and connection within myself. In addition to listening better, I’m also learning that when I may disagree, I can still infuse the experience with respect and love. It takes me practice and I don’t nail it every time. I’m simply doing better than I used to. Communication with each other is often our biggest barrier. Since it can be tricky to get your message or feelings across, we can hold the intention of love in our heart while discussing matters. It helps to remember the person you’re speaking to might understand, see, or experience the subject matter differently than you.

I have a dear friend Steve. Among the many things I admire about him is his strength in listening and the respect he gives when he listens to you even when he may disagree with you. He has always held space to hear me out and my perspective on a topic or situation. When he responds he validates what has been expressed to him which shows me he really listened. Then when uses his turn to speak, He will then proceed to give some feedback from his perspective. I have to point out that I also I love the Art of how he responds. Commonly when he uses his turn to speak he proceeds by saying Joy… For me…,” which seems to give this little magical space of responding from his perspective without losing the respect of my own. Many times he will come at the topic from an angle that I haven’t experienced or maybe observed before. The way he delivers his conversations makes me feel comfortable hearing a potentially different or opposite perspective. What I think he infuses in his art of communicating is being able to have a conversation without judgment.

He inspires me to be a better communicator and listener. Learning and observing this from my friend over the years helps me to disagree better. I don’t think we are often taught how to respectfully disagree with one another and it often comes out messy and offensive furthering misunderstanding one another. Once we create harsh feelings and defensiveness we put up a wall preventing growth and expansion. We become more consumed in how we see things and narrow the space we can hold for one another.

Understanding our flaws in listening and disagreeing with another is one thing, and practicing is another. Sometimes it starts with small steps of awareness. The next time you feel like you are moving into an argument or feel the discussion getting heated and rousing up negative feelings, ask yourself how you want to continue to navigate. You can slow the momentum down by saying, “I may be coming through from a different experience, let me hear more from how you see or experience it.” Or you could say, “You know, you may be right or onto something I hadn’t considered.” It may feel a little difficult initially, but you are not agreeing or disagreeing with them. You are just finding a way to connect deeper and an opportunity to listen or even disagree with love and respect over hurtful comments and feelings.

If you find yourself really down the rabbit hole, you may simply need to look at the other person and apologize for the argument. Tell them how you feel about them and acknowledge the relationship is more important than the different perspective. You may need to walk away and allow peace and calmness to return. You may not be able to turn every disagreement around so quickly and easily, but as you reflect on these instances, you can choose another direction in the future.

With so many platforms that we now receive news and information from, we can easily get into heated discussions or arguments on large scale problems. You can scale it back and think of simpler comparisons to help you through the sludge. For example, I simply do not care for sauerkraut. My entire family loves it. My father makes it from scratch and prides himself on his craft. It is also nature’s probiotic and very healthy for you. I can give you so many examples of why I could enjoy sauerkraut, but no matter what another’s reasoning or perspective is, I simply do not like sauerkraut. I have my reasons to back it up. I don’t care for the taste, I once got very sick on cabbage and prefer not to eat it ever since, and I can’t get past the smell very well. Like many disagreements, everyone has their reasons to back up their opinions. I may strongly dislike sauerkraut, but can respect that my family loves it. We just lovingly disagree.

Life is a lot like the small things on a larger scale. When you disagree with someone over their beliefs, politics, or preferences, just remember it is okay to disagree. We can be better humans to each other by allowing more artful and peaceful conversations with each other. If we can do this with our everyday conversations, imagine what a difference we could make in mending disagreements that affect the world at large!

We are all teachers

We Are All Teachers

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We are all teachers on this earth. We help reflect to one another what is on the inside. When we interact with one another, it is important to notice what we are teaching one another. We teach others how to treat us, we teach others where our heart is residing, and most importantly we teach each other that which we choose to see.

A few years ago I had the privilege of teaching. The first lesson I learned and continue to learn is that to teach is also to realize you are the biggest student. To teach you are constantly learning. It can also be difficult to notice who really is the teacher and who is the student. Sharing our knowledge and expertise may give us the title of a teacher, but everyone is learning from the experience. When we separate ourselves and feel superior, we really aren’t helping anyone outside our ego. We are halting the learning of not only the student, but also our very own.

We grow by helping and sharing. We evolve from learning not only from our own experiences, but from our students as well. Not only are we in this field of life learning together, we are learning from one another. Regardless of what I shared, showed, or tried to teach in the curriculum, I realized that each student makes their learning their own. And how very differently we all learn.

You can take a group of students within the same curriculum and when it comes to applying the knowledge, they will all perform the tasks in their own rhythm and way. That is the beauty of life. We design, create, and produce from our own perspective and flair.

I’ve also learned from business coaching that I was always learning from every client I worked with. Most often clients needed more encouragement than they needed business advice. You could share ideas, help them to brainstorm, and occasionally point them into a helpful direction, but mostly they needed support. Once I realized this, I could be a better consultant. The key was acknowledging they were as much my teacher as I was theirs.

You can help others so much further when you can slide your ego over and approach the other as a teacher as well. I’ve found not only do you explain things better, you figure out better ways to help them understand the information. When you have the compassion to understand their perspective better, you can inspire, motivate, and instruct better.

Often we can forget why we teach. I do not believe it’s to separate us hierarchically, but to help another rise to a higher level. As you help another rise, you rise as well. We can catch ourselves in a slump when we forget we are students as well. We never stop learning and we never stop teaching. I find great peace in knowing that it’s impossible to know everything. It kind of sucks the fun right out of the mysteries in life when we think we have all of the answers.

Pay attention to what you teach and how you teach. We are either helping each other rise or fall. You always have a choice. I encourage you in your daily life to teach love, teach patience, teach understanding, teach respect, teach encouragement, and teach peace in all you do.

Celebrating diversity

Celebrating Diversity

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I find many times our differences can get in the way of our respect for one another. Instead of appreciating variances, we criticize that which we may not understand. Sometimes we aren’t taught how to celebrate our diversity. When we interact with those of different backgrounds, cultures, and belief systems, we may compare theirs with our own. When we condemn another’s way of life, we are revealing our misunderstandings, judgments, and fears.

We can learn to embrace, honor, or simply be open to dissimilarities of our own. The desire and freedom to express who we are seems to apply to a wide range of situations in life. Many times people are not trying to convince you or convert you to their way of living; they just want the privilege of making their choices without feeling defensive.

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New Year New Opportunities

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As we find ourselves in the New Year, we often see it as a new start with new opportunities. Many people take this time to create new goals, discover improved ways of living, or set their minds to accomplish better intentions. Some of the top changes that many intend to make are to lose weight, eat healthier, go to the gym, quit smoking, and reorganize their homes.

All these goals can be beneficial goals if they’re the changes you desire, but some helpful tips can make it easier for you to accomplish these changes. Many times we start out with some strong momentum and find ourselves falling off the wagon or not seeing our goals through. It feels like a crushing defeat when you accomplish your goals only to return to the old ways before the end of the year.

To truly change our habits requires retraining and rewiring in the brain. We are often taught it’s action oriented, but if you do not successfully retrain those subconscious habits, our brain is setup to return to our old default patterns simply because we have practiced them for so long. We trained them that way to begin with. The more we can understand how our minds work and are designed, the more we can use it to our advantage. It takes some cleaning up of the mind’s habits to reach our goals.

It really is changing our mindsets first. And they take practice to see the manifestations. Think of it like cleaning out and organizing your closet. We get rid of things we don’t use anymore and organize our belongings to be more functional. The same goes for our minds as well. If we can recognize the patterns that aren’t serving us well, we can catch them before we act on them.

It takes awareness and practice. As we are aware of the habits we would like to change, we can then notice how we sabotage ourselves with our own thinking. To turn it around we have to slow the momentum of those habits and continue practicing the new changes repeatedly. Over time we can see and feel the improvements. It may be a slower process, but in the long haul it is how we permanently make the changes that are often temporary. It is a bit more than just reading inspirational quotes that make those changes.

The inspiration can certainly help get us going, but it’s the repeated practice in our thinking that aligns us with our goals. Often we do not take the time to identify why we are doing the habits we want to change to begin with.

It starts with our emotions. Many times we overeat, smoke, or live more in chaos in response to stress. Until we tackle the emotions behind the stress, our brains fall back into those subconscious habits. It helps to start slowly and gently. Be aware of how you are feeling when you are performing the habit you want to change. Are you present during these moments? Start to break down what relief you get when you do the habit. When you can become aware of your triggers, you can either replace or create a different way of responding.

Setting intentions is only the beginning of change. It takes the daily practice to receive the turn around. The good news is that your brain is capable of rewiring anything. Really! There is much research and scientific evidence now that proves anything is possible. There are reports and studies of people healing diseases and disabilities and attracting their dreams into their lives, all using their minds. The healing starts in the mind first.

I’m not saying actions never produce results, but when you get down to retraining and rewiring your habits from your mind, you leverage much more power than trying to hammer them out like a drill sergeant. It is the difference in trying to force things to happen versus allowing the flow to sail you.

We are usually very motivated and excited in the beginning, but when it seems to get challenging, I encourage you to work with your mind and emotions. If it’s worth it, it helps to understand it’s worth the time to change it. You are also more powerful when you can love yourself more during the process. When you are negative towards yourself and your emotions, you are struggling uphill against them. When you are loving towards yourself, you get a periscope look into what you’re trying to heal or avoid.

This takes time, patience, and love. You most likely developed the habits over time and replacing these ways of thinking takes time as well. Remind yourself of that, and of how powerful and capable your brain really is. Talk to yourself like you are your friend on this journey. Your body and mind need your support to perform their miraculous new changes!

Shine your soul

Shine Your Soul

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My friend, have you forgotten the magnificence of your soul? Do you allow your soul to shine daily? I invite you to wake up each day and intend to be more aligned with your soul. To move through your day using your highest gifts. You are a gift to the world and you have things to share. We all have majestic offerings to share with others.

Our skills and talents are our nature. We often dim our lights to fit into the expected norms of our cultures. We can forget that our differences are what we bring to the table. The more we can be authentically aligned, the more we have to offer another. Rather than trying to fit into expectations, we can choose to notice our unique qualities as strengths given to us to shine and share. We may think of our differences as disabilities, but they may have been given to us to help uplift or connect to another. You can inspire others by embracing all of your qualities. What appears to us as flaws may be exactly what others need to see.

Instead of spending so much energy on fixing ourselves, we can empower ourselves by accepting that we are already capable and beautiful just the way we are. Our souls are designed to shine through, not be hidden. When we focus less on micromanaging our flaws, we have much more energy to shine. We are all made wonderfully and beautifully different. We were not born in a doll factory. What you may see as imperfect may be what another sees as our alluring quality. In other words, what stands us apart can be a strength, not a weakness.

When you can embrace all of yourself, you give courage to others about the important qualities in life. We also can shine our light to help them to be less embarrassed about their insecurities. We when are able to show up and fully be ourselves, we empower others to do the same. The more we appreciate all of our qualities, the more ability our cells have in healing and improving our bodies. I have found appreciation for our bodies enables our nervous system and criticizing deteriorates it. Your nervous system and body responds to the thoughts you think. In a sense you are not only helping others when you operate more from the soul, but you are in turn truly helping yourself as well.

As often as you can, I invite your soul to speak.
Allow your heart to sing.
Let your spirit shine.
Leave your judgments behind.
Let your soul soar.
Spread your wings and fly.
Engage in the things that move you.

We are living art. Each of us our own artist. Embrace your rhythms and share your authenticity! Allow your magnificence to move through you. This is your gift to the world.

Intuition

How To Hear Your Intution

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My clients (and recently a few of you readers) frequently ask me about how they can hear their intuition. In a busy and often daily life full of noise, it can be tricky to recognize your intuition. It is often subtle and takes time and practice at tuning in. At times during danger and in crisis, we can feel those instincts and vibes loud and clear, but in our daily life they may not appear as obvious.

Another reason they are not so easy to identify is because we may not be very used to tuning in and listening to our inner selves. When we get caught up in our busy lifestyles and do not take the time to be quiet and tune in, we can be rusty at acknowledging when our intuition is giving us clues. It is important to take some time for ourselves to listen and develop ways to recognize those messages.

Receiving our intuitions and gifts feels different for everyone. There is no recipe that works exactly the same. There are many paths to tune in, but what resonates with one may not work as well with another. It’s also a good idea to explore and try many avenues to see what helps you the best. Be gentle and easy with yourself. This is a fun way to do things that feel good to your soul. The more you pay attention to the little feelings, the more you are able to connect within.

Meditation is a practice that helps you tune into the messages from your intuition. (I know I start often with this one, but it really is a good tool if you give it the time, space, and practice.) It is called a practice because the more you do it, the more you can allow those feelings to flow through. You can take it slow and work your way into a longer practice and utilize it when and how it fits into your life. Meditation is clearly not the only avenue, but it can be a strong ally to those that develop a habit. If the thought of meditation is really intimidating to you, you can always think of it as sitting in the quiet for a few minutes to concentrate on your breath and calm yourself. Sometimes that is all you need to recognize the next step or simply feel a little better.

Another wonderful way to connect is by using your creative energy. For some this may be though painting, sewing, knitting, writing, drawing, dancing, praying, practicing tai chi or yoga, playing an instrument, gardening, hiking, or doing anything that brings your soul joy or relief. It is through these practices that you move out of your head and more into the flow of the activity. These are also other forms of meditation. To understand meditation a little better, I like to think of it as an act that helps you slow down the 10 million fast-moving thoughts that occupy much of your mind daily.

The more you can get lost in an activity that you love and that brings you peace, the more you allow space for your intuition to come through loud and clear. It can communicate in a variety of ways. It may be as simple as knowing of which direction to move next. You may feel or hear a “yes” or “no” come through to a question or situation you have been pondering. Many times when we struggle to hear an answer, it doesn’t come through immediately. I’ve learned if you put the question out there, you can receive some guidance through these acts of meditation.

I once heard a Buddhist lama speak on a walking meditation. The emphasis was focusing on an act to clear your mind through a moving meditation. You can accomplish this not only while taking a walk, but while performing simple acts like doing the dishes, folding laundry, sweeping, or any repetitive chore you do often. The idea is to learn to be present in the moment of what you’re doing. Many times when we are doing these activities our minds are also simultaneously thinking of many other things. We aren’t being in the moment and our minds are elsewhere. If you can take an activity where you actually focus or perhaps even try to enjoy what you’re doing, you are changing the flow and energy to open up more toward your intuition.

I think this is a good avenue to point out, because we often use the excuse that we are too busy to be quiet. This is a way you can tune in while getting some things accomplished that you feel you need to. It’s about being creative and present with your time and actions. I find when I bring myself more to the present moment I enjoy chores more. It’s not a dreadful thing I need to get done. I am more calm and peaceful rather than rushed and stressed trying to get my to do list done.

Whether you are taking some time to be present in your activities or enjoying activities you love, you are opening and allowing your connection to your intuition and your inner self. The more you practice, the more you deepen relationship. If you don’t have many hobbies and don’t feel you know how your creative energy flows, just follow any activities you enjoy. You can also explore some things you have been drawn to or always wanted to try. The key to know how you channel your creative energy is when you can get lost in what you’re doing, or anything that simply brings you joy. You don’t have to be good or a master at anything to enjoy what you’re doing. The point is to open yourself to the flow of your creative energy. The more time you spend in this flow, the more you can pick up on your intuition.

Your outlook

Your Outlook

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

Your outlook in life is your compass. Often the results you get depend on how you project it to go. When I worked in surgery I started with patients in the holding area before their surgery and frequently took care of them in recovery. Through the years, I observed that when they declared their surgery would go well, it did. Those patients that were more fearful or worried about pain or being sick in the recovery room, sure enough those patients woke up sick and in a lot of pain.

Through my years of being a nurse, I found it fascinating to observe how often this played out. It was surprising to me how often their intentions were followed by their experience. It wasn’t always easy to try to ease a patient’s mind before surgery, but it was a big part of my job then. I felt the more calm I could help them be, the better their experience would be in the recovery room. When I focused on educating them and easing their worries as much as possible, I then found smoother results in the recovery room. I also noticed that I gave less pain medication in turn as well. We were very lucky in those years of having successful turnouts and very few emergencies.

In my position at a surgery center, I had the opportunity to be involved in their entire process. It started out that I would call the patient at home to schedule their surgery and answer their questions about taking care of them before and after their surgery. At the end of the process I called them at home to check on them. I got to experience their full circle of their outpatient surgery. I also did quality and assurance reports that helped me verify my observations. I had a really awesome privilege of working with some of the best nurses, technicians, and office staff out there. I believe it led to the patients doing so well.

I also had the opportunity to work in hospitals that weren’t so well-oiled. I was pulled to many floors working with crews that I wasn’t used to and in less operative conditions. Even though these environments had many differences in how things worked, I was still able to conclude many similarities. At one particular hospital, I floated and was assigned to a variety of floors/departments. A few floors were “known” to be very difficult floors because of the severity of illnesses in those patients and often a less smooth running system. In my attempts to balance out these situations, one advantage I used was knowing that if I could assist my patients in their outlook, I could survive my shift and take care of them better.

At one hospital, I often observed many of my co-workers starting the day with a big list of orders and being forced to “hit the floor running,” so to speak. I noticed that they struggled to keep up with their charting (mandatory legal documents that recorded all their actions ). When I worked these floors/situations, I was able to use my experience of my observations to assist me many times. I tried a different path to help navigate my experience with these challenging situations. For example, rather than jump right into my list of duties and responsibilities (as I noticed many nurses do), I took about ten extra minutes with each patient on my initial rounds to practice my skills of communication and calmness. When I felt they knew my intentions I headed towards my orders.

At first glance, it looked like I was way behind the other nurses on our duties, but i found it to be an investment of time that rewarded me greatly later on in the shift/day. I only did a few simple things that paved a smoother day. I took the time to sit down, look the patient in the eyes, and simply explained my intentions for the shift. I wanted them to feel secure that I was there for them and would do my best to address their pain, illness, and needs during my shift. It sounds so superficial, but made a great impact later in the day when I had time to sit down and chart while I observed many co-workers struggling to keep up. They seemed to have many patients calling out at the same time and they couldn’t find time to sit down, eat, chart, or even visit the restroom.

I’m also not saying we didn’t have our emergencies from time to time and everything was always smooth sailing… I did work in a hospital, but I am convinced that if it were not for that extra little time to assist in my patient’s outlook, I would have also been struggling so much more to keep up with my responsibilites and neglecting what in my heart I felt was a good job. I certainly wasn’t the best nurse working on that floor. Nor am I comparing my capabilities to my co-workers. I’ve worked with so many amazing people. I just wanted to point out that I was able to use what I learned to benefit me in difficult situations.

I found when my patients felt safe and secure, they needed me less. They were less sick and in less pain. I felt I gave much less medication when the patients felt some confidence over fear. When you can meet patients’ emotional needs, you address the bigger ones easier. When someone is sick, in the hospital or facing a procedure, you don’t always understand the stress and fear happening on their inside. If you can assist with this aspect, the care and outcome can be more optimal. Patients tend to do better when they are less stressed. I’ve learned half the battle is in the communication and their outlook. A positive report and outlook you can establish with people seems to in turn greatly affect the experience.

Just as I had opportunities with the outlooks to help my patients, your outlook in whatever you do in life can help you leverage your experiences. To steer it better can depend on your outlook. We can often get in the habit of starting our day running and busy without intention. To help you have a better day, you have an opportunity in how you choose your outlook. We often get exactly what we expect. In my experience I can definitely say it’s worth the extra time to focus on your outlook daily. It’s like preparing the way for your day to be smoother.