Monthly Archives: November 2014

Don’t be so hard on yourself

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Thoughts are energy and they do manifest into things. So how can you make the connection of what your thinking and what you are manifesting? . One easy place to start is to be mindful and deliberate with your thoughts. If you aren’t always pleased with what is showing up and manifesting in your life, a simple understanding is to notice how you are encouraging yourself or being critical of yourself. I have found critical self talk to be one of the biggest habits holding you back from your dreams and self worth.
I know we do not always shift things from 1st gear to 5th gear all at once. In a car, for example, we know that doing this will burn out the clutch. The same holds true in life which is why we must practice our way of thoughts and habits by shifting a little at a time. I find it helpful to be easy on ourselves in the process. When we stop and analyze our self talk, it can be discouraging to notice how we have made it a habit of being so tough on our mistakes and choices. We are not often taught deliberate thinking and loving ourselves even when we make errors. So the 1st gear, or baby step, is to be gentle with ourselves. When we reflect on how things are or have been, (instead of beating up on ourselves for every little thing), remember that little saying that hind sight is 50/50. (50/50 or 20/20?) Most of the time we are doing the best we can from the consciousness level we are at. As we look back or experience the journey, we learn what works and what doesn’t. If we knew for sure the outcome ahead of time, we would not be having this human experience.
We often think to ourselves about what we “should have done”, “why did we make those mistakes”, “how could we have been so naive”, or the classic “I always mess things up”. We are really wasting our energy focusing on negative thoughts. The reason I use the term wasting is because we have the choice in every moment of how to focus our thoughts and energy. When we spend time being hard or critical on ourselves we are blocking blessings and positive energy that we are wanting to attract. To improve or create the life we wish & desire to live, we are attracting the opposite when we are being hard on ourselves.
Like attracts like.
So if you are not talking to yourself like you would your child or a loved one in your life, did you know that you are creating things you probably do not want?
When we fear, worry, and doubt, it attracts unwanted circumstances and events. When we say kind things to ourselves and soothe ourselves into better and more positive feelings, we start to consciously create more happy and joyful experiences. This is how we have the power and free will to create our life.
I like to give everyday, simple suggestions that may empower you to feel like positive change can be easy and work for you. Especially if your experiencing a string of stressful moments and situations.
Slow down.
Be kinder to yourself.
Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, and encourage the bright side of the situation. You may have to look a little more to find it, but there is always a good perspective in any situation. You just may have to shift your focus and perspective to match that frequency. You may have to sit with it for a while until some peace comes. When frustrated about a situation, you may have to focus on something totally different and give your mind a break. That change in energy can either bring you clarity, or, many times, you’ll be surprised that the circumstances actually work themselves out.
And all you had to do was think differently.
Spend some quiet time either envisioning how you’d like to see things turn out and bring gratitude to your imagination, OR you can spend some time remembering good times or delightful surprises in your lifetime. By spending a little time and energy with your mind in these positive ways, You actually are creating the space and platform for more happiness and joyful experiences.
Be more light hearted. Don’t take everything you see and hear so seriously. Laugh at your self and your mistakes more. You’ll learn they really weren’t so big of a deal after all. I’ve learned the more I embrace my mistakes and errors as funny, the more I can sustain my positive radar. When you reveal your true self (errors and all), other people not only relate to you more, but you give them the room and courage to be their happy self. When you evoke kindness and easiness from yourself, you get to see and experience that with others. When you neglect your own thoughts and feelings, you truly can’t give the joy to others because you have never given it to yourself. Don’t try to hide your quirkiness, weirdness, or what you “think” society will see as faults. We were created differently, uniquely, and beautiful. It’s time to remind yourself of that and show it now. Embrace it, flaunt it, and encourage it. The more true and authentic you are to yourself, the more you’ll attract that joy from yourself, and you will invoke it from others. You’ll even rendezvous with more like you…. Like attracts Like…. What are you thinking to yourself?
Remember you have the wherewithal to change it. You are a powerful and creative being. You can do this even if it’s a little at a time. The more you practice, the better you get.

Watch for the joy adjustments.

Shifting perspectives

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According to A course in Miracles, A miracle is just a shift in perspective. Sometimes we get stuck in seeing things one way. Our perceptions may be taught or from our experiences in our life to form opinions. When we are troubled or can’t figure a way around our obstacles, we have an opportunity to see it from another perspective. This is how we can have peace amongst our circumstances. In life we can experience shifts, storms, and waves that pass. But how do we maintain our joy during these times.
One of the most powerful tools I have found helpful in my times of contrast is meditation. I like to refer to it as quiet time, centering, or maybe just a time out. So many people get confused on the purpose and “how to” meditate. When it’s misunderstood and intimidating, many times individuals do not give it much a chance. Again, I like to simplify matters to make it feel possible or helpful.
The first step is take some quiet time for yourself. We often look outside ourselves for answers and perspectives when the guidance we need is already on the inside. And to hear that requires tuning in and listening. It may take a few days or even weeks before we hear or “realize” what we are searching for. Especially if we’ve been listening to more of the noise of our outside world of people, television, internet, etc…rather than our own soul.
When we take this time whether it be a few minutes or an hour, it can be a little overwhelming at first. Because we are so use to being distracted by our stream of thoughts. We practice them for a long time and it can take a little patience with ourselves to be aware of those distractions. There is a difference between the ego/mind and the observer (our soul). The voices in our head often come from our upbringing, family, education, culture, religion, and opinions. For that reason it is ok not to be so hard on ourselves for the thoughts that walk through our mind. It is things we have picked up along our way. That is not our soul and intuition speaking to us.
The quiet time provides you an opportunity to observe the head and ego and let the thoughts pass through. It’s like driving down the road and you pass trees, cars, many things along the way. You can let them pass through rather than trying to force no thought. This is where I think many people get confused on meditation and give up. They think they can not do it because of the stream of thinking. With practice you can slow it down, but you do not have to get bent out of shape because our ego’s like to talk. There are many different ways people use in their meditation practice to slow this “Jabbering” down. That is why there are so many methods and suggestions you can read up on. Some people just count their breaths. Some chant. Some just focus on a prayer, word, or color. You may have to play a little to see what comes easy to you. There is no right or wrong way. The purpose is to focus on one of these things to help clear your mind or slow it down. I’ve heard many call it their “monkey mind”. When you concentrate on a word, or counting breaths, this makes it difficult to listen to thoughts at the same time. So you can slow it down to tune into your inner voice by using any of these methods rather than being frustrated on trying to sit in total silence.
We always have access to our inner self, but we may need to learn ways to tune in it to or listen to it. For some it may be a feeling or a realization. It will be different for everyone. Once we create some time and space for ourself, we can strengthen our awareness and guidance from our authentic self. This is where we get the shift in perspective or the guidance we are seeking. Sometimes we have to sit in our quiet time until we can see things differently. This is how we change our life. We can find peace and joy by changing the way we see things and our perception of what is going on without trying to control conditions. Because most conditions are out of our control. It is the way we see them that can upset or frustrate us. Since we can’t always change what is going on, we have the power of changing our perception and receiving relief now even if the condition never changes. And our purpose that most of us search for is being happy. And how can you be happy when things aren’t always going the way you may want them to? It is through our perception. Be easy on yourself. Start with giving yourself some quiet time. Even if it’s only a few minutes. Start there. See if it brings you some calmness. The more you practice and give that to yourself, the more clarity, peace, and joy you can feel for yourself. Once you feel that for yourself, You can extend it out to others. Your family, friends, loved ones, job, and whomever you come across in your daily life. Meditation or “quiet time” is just one of many tools/processes we can use to shift into joy and calmness in our every day life.