Often when I hear others say the phrase “I need,” it makes me cringe. It seems to be a common bad habit that may be holding us back rather than moving us in the direction we want to go. Once I really understood the power we have with our words and energy, I had to break this habit myself. When we are in need of something, we are lining up with the energy of lack. I’m not saying you can’t be aware of what you would like more of, but often we focus too long on the lack of what we feel we need.

This focus aligns you with more need. The statements we make can empower or disempower our lives. I don’t think many of us understand that “need” can be a very disempowering word. It’s a bit like focusing on the problem rather than tuning into the solution. Once you have identified that you want to go in a different direction than you are currently facing, you will move along further and faster if you let go of your need and embrace the fulfillment of appreciating what you do have. Focusing on what we do have invites more. We do that by not only focusing on the direction we are heading, but using words and emotions that line up with what we would like to have, do, or see.

For example, if you want to attract a loving partner, you will be more powerful at attracting them when you are a loving partner. If you want to experience more peace from others, you begin with working on peace within yourself. If you want to attract more abundance in your life, you can empower your energy by first giving of yourself, whether money, time, or energy. You give out and emit the frequency that you wish to receive.

We may not only be habitual in making statements about what we need, we also disempower others by telling them what they need. I know when someone starts a conversation off telling me what I need, I immediately start resisting their suggestions and building a wall. It’s a little pet peeve of mine. I feel we are much more powerful and helpful to others when we can share helpful information rather than pointing out their needs or lack. Often we are selling things for a living. Whether it be products, information, business, health care, or experience, we can be mindful of the words we use when interacting with customers.

For example I have run across this scenario so often through the years: When someone tells me “you need to…”, I want to stop them and say “You will get much further with me if you give me suggestions of what I could do.” Being a business owner for years, I’m approached by salespeople often. It may seem small and silly, but if you are attempting to sell me something, I am more receptive depending on how you approach me. I find I’m not alone in feeling this way. One thing I have learned repeatedly through the years is that we can be more powerful when we empower others. This includes the way we sell and do business.

Anytime I approach a client by telling them what they need to do, I automatically feel them tighten and close up before I get the opportunity to deliver the goods or information. The way you communicate with people can be magical and it can also quickly slam a door. I know many of us in the business world are taught to find people’s needs and target them. There can be value in being in a compassionate place to study the needs of others so you may can help others, but there can also be a difference in how you approach them,

The problem we can easily run into is focusing on others’ lacks and needs. . Emotionally we may not get the chance to share the help they can use because of the words we speak and energy we use to share our gifts and products. I’m not saying that this will always guarantee a sale or lead, but I’ve learned it can get you a lot further towards those goals.

Think of it this way: If someone were to offer you help, would you be more receptive if they demonstrated what they have to offer, or if they pointed out your lack and needs? Often we are taught how to sell without putting ourselves in the customer’s shoes. If you don’t like to be approached that way, why would they? I’m encouraging you to be mindful of how you like to be approached before approaching anyone.

The way we approach others and the words we use for our lives can powerfully dictate our experience and the direction we go in. So why not empower what you can to move you further towards your desires and goals? Rather than focusing on our needs and lack for ourselves and others, try to empower your words further by focusing on the intended direction.

I generally find that people like options to choose for themselves. It seems when you can empower people towards their own choices and decisions you are more helpful to them. If you have advice or business of value to offer others, I would encourage your selling points to give them a variety of ways to help. When you truly empower others, you are not only developing a deeper relationship with them, you do so with yourself.

Telling others what they need or need to do takes you away from listening and understanding them. I challenge you rather than focusing on needs, try to approach the direction that empowers the haves, the plenty, the options, and the goals.