Don’t be so hard on yourself

By November 20, 2014 Uncategorized One Comment

Thoughts are energy and they do manifest into things. So how can you make the connection of what your thinking and what you are manifesting? . One easy place to start is to be mindful and deliberate with your thoughts. If you aren’t always pleased with what is showing up and manifesting in your life, a simple understanding is to notice how you are encouraging yourself or being critical of yourself. I have found critical self talk to be one of the biggest habits holding you back from your dreams and self worth.
I know we do not always shift things from 1st gear to 5th gear all at once. In a car, for example, we know that doing this will burn out the clutch. The same holds true in life which is why we must practice our way of thoughts and habits by shifting a little at a time. I find it helpful to be easy on ourselves in the process. When we stop and analyze our self talk, it can be discouraging to notice how we have made it a habit of being so tough on our mistakes and choices. We are not often taught deliberate thinking and loving ourselves even when we make errors. So the 1st gear, or baby step, is to be gentle with ourselves. When we reflect on how things are or have been, (instead of beating up on ourselves for every little thing), remember that little saying that hind sight is 50/50. (50/50 or 20/20?) Most of the time we are doing the best we can from the consciousness level we are at. As we look back or experience the journey, we learn what works and what doesn’t. If we knew for sure the outcome ahead of time, we would not be having this human experience.
We often think to ourselves about what we “should have done”, “why did we make those mistakes”, “how could we have been so naive”, or the classic “I always mess things up”. We are really wasting our energy focusing on negative thoughts. The reason I use the term wasting is because we have the choice in every moment of how to focus our thoughts and energy. When we spend time being hard or critical on ourselves we are blocking blessings and positive energy that we are wanting to attract. To improve or create the life we wish & desire to live, we are attracting the opposite when we are being hard on ourselves.
Like attracts like.
So if you are not talking to yourself like you would your child or a loved one in your life, did you know that you are creating things you probably do not want?
When we fear, worry, and doubt, it attracts unwanted circumstances and events. When we say kind things to ourselves and soothe ourselves into better and more positive feelings, we start to consciously create more happy and joyful experiences. This is how we have the power and free will to create our life.
I like to give everyday, simple suggestions that may empower you to feel like positive change can be easy and work for you. Especially if your experiencing a string of stressful moments and situations.
Slow down.
Breathe.
Be kinder to yourself.
Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, and encourage the bright side of the situation. You may have to look a little more to find it, but there is always a good perspective in any situation. You just may have to shift your focus and perspective to match that frequency. You may have to sit with it for a while until some peace comes. When frustrated about a situation, you may have to focus on something totally different and give your mind a break. That change in energy can either bring you clarity, or, many times, you’ll be surprised that the circumstances actually work themselves out.
And all you had to do was think differently.
Spend some quiet time either envisioning how you’d like to see things turn out and bring gratitude to your imagination, OR you can spend some time remembering good times or delightful surprises in your lifetime. By spending a little time and energy with your mind in these positive ways, You actually are creating the space and platform for more happiness and joyful experiences.
Be more light hearted. Don’t take everything you see and hear so seriously. Laugh at your self and your mistakes more. You’ll learn they really weren’t so big of a deal after all. I’ve learned the more I embrace my mistakes and errors as funny, the more I can sustain my positive radar. When you reveal your true self (errors and all), other people not only relate to you more, but you give them the room and courage to be their happy self. When you evoke kindness and easiness from yourself, you get to see and experience that with others. When you neglect your own thoughts and feelings, you truly can’t give the joy to others because you have never given it to yourself. Don’t try to hide your quirkiness, weirdness, or what you “think” society will see as faults. We were created differently, uniquely, and beautiful. It’s time to remind yourself of that and show it now. Embrace it, flaunt it, and encourage it. The more true and authentic you are to yourself, the more you’ll attract that joy from yourself, and you will invoke it from others. You’ll even rendezvous with more like you…. Like attracts Like…. What are you thinking to yourself?
Remember you have the wherewithal to change it. You are a powerful and creative being. You can do this even if it’s a little at a time. The more you practice, the better you get.

Watch for the joy adjustments.

One Comment

  • Jeff Brunson says:

    As I read your post, I was reminded of a couple of things I got from Patricia Ryan Madson, in her book “Imrprov Wisdon” …
    1) When you see something that needs to be done, do ti.
    2) Keep adjusting to how it is rather than how you’d like it to be.
    And from Richard Rohr: “Only God’s Spirit-with-us can fully forgive, accept, and allow reality to be what it is.”
    I love that you are encouraging us into a reality alive with mindfulness and deliberateness!
    Jeff