Monthly Archives: May 2017

May 29
1
Setbacks

Setbacks

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

Sometimes in life we experience setbacks. It can be easy to get frustrated with our detours in life. When we can take a step back and remember that setbacks are also forward progress, we can change the energy we interact with. Many times our setbacks are really setups for better success. We often need the detours to prepare us for situations ahead.

We may initially try to take the perspective that things are going wrong simply because it wasn’t in our plans. No matter the path in life, we will experience variations not planned for the destination. These fluctuations present opportunities to learn and grow. As we grow, we strengthen what we do. Learning is generally more effective when you directly experience it. So when someone advises you on a road they have traveled, keep in mind yours will always still go differently even if your goal is a similar road. You cannot duplicate the process in life.

When things happen, they happen for you. When you compare your experience with others, you miss the opportunities to help yourself. When we can focus on what is happening for us, we can understand our setbacks and detours in a way that helps us. When we get discouraged because things aren’t going the way we wanted or planned, we can block the liberation that comes with the experiences.

So many successful people have fallen and failed at several ventures and avenues before they found the niche that catapulted them to success. If we look at setbacks as failures, we may give up our dreams and goals, not knowing the setbacks were needed for the catapult. If we can take a step back during setbacks and polish our perspective towards understanding that there is something to be learned, we change the energy moving forward. We can pivot towards a more rewarding experiences.

Success is generally reached through a process. It’s called a process for a reason. There are no straight lines. Nor can anyone tell you exactly what to expect on your journey. The future in its full magnitude is the mystery of life we get to work with. Nothing is guaranteed in the process or how things will go. We can look at it as a scary horrible thing causing worry. Or we could see it as a magical mystery with many possibilities.

How we look at it directly affects how we feel. Our feelings have power in the universe. Many people have quoted the phrase “what you think, you become.” The thoughts you think, the words you use, and the energy you give out all affect your reality and experience. Being mindful of how you think and feel also allows you the option to change. Don’t you think it’s nice to know that if you don’t like what you are experiencing and getting, you have a choice in changing it?

We often think we don’t have the power to change things. We do have the power to change ourselves and our perspective of the situations. That is where our power and leverage lie. Sometimes we find this strength in the setbacks. Setbacks can teach us some of our greatest lessons. Without them, we may never reach our set goals.

The next time you are experiencing a setback, rather than feeling discouraged, try getting excited about what there is to learn. Ask yourself, “What new and better way is showing up on the horizon? “ When setbacks happen, instead of asking yourself what else can go wrong, try approaching the magic of life with the question “How much better can things get?”

May 21
1
Mindset

Mindset

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

What mindset are you dominantly living? As you move through your day, are you appreciating yourself or criticizing yourself? It’s the thoughts and feelings you repeat to yourself all day. Many times we can get caught up in being hard on ourselves and criticizing what we think needs improvement. What you may not realize is that the the words you are thinking repeatedly become your mindset that you operate from.

When you get up each day and get ready, do you appreciate that you are alive? That your heart is beating and you have a home? A place to work possibly and transportation? You may have clothes to wear, running water, and soap to start your day. Are you appreciating and acknowledging your basic needs? Not only that, but are you recognizing how much you really do have?

Or… Are you criticizing yourself more than you know? Are you hard on yourself because of how much you weigh? Are you beating yourself up for any wrinkles or disabilities? You may not have perfect straight teeth, or the fit abs seen on the cover of a magazine. We often criticize what we should eat, what we should wear, and how we present ourselves. We can bog down our light and energy when we condemn our looks and actions. We torture ourselves in attempts to meet what we think others expect. Or maybe we have picked up some bad habits of striving to look like someone other than our beautiful self.

We all have beauty to offer and in our own unique ways. We are not the size of our clothing. We are not the color of our skin. We are not the house we live in, the car we drive, or the designer clothes we may wear. We are souls living in bodies. Our bodies come in all shapes sizes, colors, and preferences. No two are the same. We might intellectually know and admit this, but inside your mind, you may not be telling yourself these things every day.

In our culture, we have consumed ourselves with images of how we “should” strive to look. We are bombarded with images of what to achieve and compare with others. We become hard on ourselves trying to keep up with popular opinions.

There is great power in improving to feel better. It’s healthy to envision goals and dreams. The difference is we often attempt these goals by disapproving of ourselves. Think about how children blossom. Many times we have discovered that children thrive and respond better to positive reinforcement. When we say hurtful things and condemn them, we are planting a seed for poor self esteem. Just the way you would praise a child and point out the good in them to help them see, we need to remember to be as kind to ourselves. We are children within.

We don’t all get those solid foundations growing up and as adults we still have the opportunity to love, heal, and appreciate ourselves. We just first have to be mindful of the thoughts we think and the words we tell ourself. Once you are aware of what you are repeating to yourself each and every day, you can practice being better to yourself. Even if you want to improve on some of the things you see, you can leverage better power when you can do it in a kind and loving way.

Learning how to love and appreciate yourself can take some time, but the more you practice, the more you can raise your energy, vibration and mindset for more nurturing thoughts and experiences. We are often taught to put others before themselves. Then when we try to be kind to ourselves we may battle some guilt. When you learn to let go of expectations, you can start to appreciate more of what you have and the blessings you live with each day. This programs your mindset and dominates your experience.

The more aware of your mindset, the more you can work on what you are depositing. The more kind and loving you are with your mindset, the more kind and loving results you can certainly achieve.

May 07
1
Anxiety

Anxiety

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

Worry and anxiety are the most common struggles I hear regularly from my clients. For years, it’s not been uncommon to hear people worry about their children, their health, or perhaps their finances. What I am seeing in more recent years is the dramatic shift in stimulation throughout our culture from the news on TV, the Internet, and the abundance of content on social media.

We are exposed to more and more advertising, negative news, and often scenarios that plant worries in our minds. We are bombarded by information to add to our own thousands of thoughts each day. If you sit and think about it, it’s enough to overwhelm you and possibly stir up much anxiety. The more we stimulate our nervous system with frequent anxiety, the more it shows up in our health.

Anxiety increases our blood pressure, frequently upsets our gastrointestinal system, slows down our breathing (sometimes causing hyperventilation), tenses our muscles (at times causing cramps, aches and pains), and for some people triggers tension headaches (from clenching their jaws) and often disrupts their sleep. Experiencing these symptoms often leads to larger health problems.

Whether you are feeling tired and uneasy from anxiety, or experiencing larger issues like anxiety attacks, heart problems, ulcers, or maybe insomnia, we can probably agree that we can use more tools and helpful activities to counteract these disturbances as much as possible. Just decreasing the amount of worrying we do each day will have a big impact on our mental and physical well-being.

The good news is once you are aware of your worrying and anxiousness, you can find ways of decreasing it to promote better health and healing. What relaxes one person may be very different for another. The key is finding some things that help you relax, release some worry, and feel better.

I feel lucky to have grown up in a time and place that I spent much time alone in nature without the overstimulation of technology and electronics. I did struggle with boredom from time to time, but I did not experience an overload of news and information. I was able to enjoy the quiet moments and turn to these tools today. When I get overwhelmed or stressed, I may find a quiet place to breathe, meditate or simply rest. If the weather is nice, I love to sit in the sun on my deck or take a walk.

Today many of our children are growing up in a noisier and busier world. I too enjoy the neat inventions and innovations, but it can be important to be aware of how much anxiety and overstimulation we are experiencing and of how much time we are spending on our technology. When we are busy and overloaded, we may forget the importance of balancing these stressors.

Our children may be wound up with energy that they don’t have the techniques to balance and calm their mind. It can show up in disruptions in school and focus. As adults and parents, we are too often becoming overly engaged with our technology and not providing examples of balance. Being a wife and mom, running a business, blogging, and taking regular art classes, I truly understand the challenges of a busy life infused in a very busy and noisy world.

Some good news is there is much you can do about it. Finding ways that help you channel your anxious energy into calmer feelings is only step one. Making regular time for it is another. Often we can put off things that are healthy and good for us until we feel like we have the time, which often just keeps us from not doing them.

Go about it in ways that fit you and your life. You may be one that cannot hold yourself accountable to the intentions you set. If you do, find ways that help you regularly schedule your hobbies or relaxation. If walking relaxes you, find a friend or loved one to keep dates with. If you like to read for relaxing, you can join a book club. If you relax with yoga and meditation, you might sign up for some classes. If you enjoy getting a massage for health and relaxation, make some appointments. If you’re not even sure what relaxes you, take some time to try some new things. If you have always been interested in art, cooking, dancing, acting, or perhaps learning to play and instrument, there is always time to sign up for a beginners class. The point is whatever it is that helps you to feel more fun, ease, and balance, make sure you make time for it weekly. It can be a variety of things or a routine that turns into a habit.

For the way my brain seems to work, I turn to a variety of things to help me balance the busyness and overstimulation I experience. I’ve had to be open and try many new things to find the experiences that help me relax. My balance looks a bit different each week. This is what works best for me. You really need to tune into those interests that soothe your soul and fit them in the best you can for your lifestyle.

The more you implement aspects of your life that invoke peace, calmness, and positive feelings, the more control you can have over your health and how you feel. The more tools you have to counteract anxiety, the more choices you have in how you handle your life in the face of challenges like overstimulation.