Many of us struggle with anger from time to time or perhaps habitually. There are times that anger can be positive if it motivates you towards positive change. Often though, our anger is self destructive.
Anger is a natural energy of emotion. It is designed to protect you from danger. It is ideally set up as a warning system to protect us and provide us with the energy to do something about it. The problem we can develop with anger is when we adopt it as a frequent reaction, or build it up on the inside. Unresolved anger can play out in our lives in torturous and unhealthy ways.
Our mind can be our friend or our enemy. Our brains are very powerful and our imagination is what creates our experiences. It is helpful to be aware of what your mind habitually is imagining. Especially when you struggle with anger often. It can act as a slow poison to your system.
Anger indicates what your mind is thinking or imagining. It is the barometer of your focus. The root of anger often stems from fear, self judgement, comparing, worry, and self abuse. It can take some focus and awareness to look deeper into the causes of your anger. It often comes from and builds from your internal dialog, imagination, and beliefs.
To reduce our anger we need to identify patterns, notice what your mind is practicing, and especially your self-talk (what you frequently tell yourself.) This can help you dissolve patterns and shift some beliefs.
When you are feeling or experiencing anger, step back and notice what your thinking. Is it from an unmet expectation? Physical or emotional pain caused by a person or event? Could you be suffering from frustration? Many times our imagination creates unnecessary worry and builds worst-case scenarios that consume our mind. When we dwell in anger we cultivate more trauma for ourselves. When we remember pain and replay distressing events, we lower our emotions to that vibration and repeatedly experience the pain building into more anger.
Being less angry takes time and practice. Practicing and redirecting your focus more regularly helps change your anger into peace and enables you to let it go. You can approach it many ways and explore what may work best for you.
The simple act of awareness is a powerful step. It helps give you a grasp on which way to refocus/pivot.
This one may initially sound outlandish, but accept and acknowledge your pain. Since pain is unpleasant we often avoid it at all costs, but it has to go somewhere, and hiding it on the inside or burying it causes problems to our physical and emotional health. Accepting and feeling our pain helps us to heal and move through it.
Be gentle and love yourself when you are experiencing pain and anger. Your body communicates with you on what it needs when we learn to tune in. Being loving to yourself as you work through it helps you transform it.
Deep breathing. I cannot express this enough. Not only can this be a simple tool to calm you down in the moment, it also counteracts what pain and anger do to your body.
Some of us need literal exercises to feel more of an impact. You can write a letter to work through anger. Perhaps you need to write a letter of forgiveness to let it go. Forgiving doesn’t mean it was okay; it just means bringing peace onto yourself.
Affirmations work well when practiced over time. We need to feel what we are saying to ourselves for a more powerful effect. For example: “I’m choosing to let this situation go for my health.” Another one can be, “I choose to move past this circumstance.” You may need to practice it a bit, but try it.
You can also have a breakthrough by visualizing yourself releasing the pain, hurt, and anger.
These are just a few examples of simple tools you can implement to help you through your struggles with anger. I’m not saying you won’t ever experience anger, but if you are struggling with anger regularly it can be affecting your life in negative ways. It can affect your health and how your body heals. The more of a positive mindset you can maintain more regularly, the more you can actually boost your immune system.
Over time I hope you can help yourself to use your mind and imagination to empower yourself instead of suffering with anger. If you practice your changes, I believe you can experience less anger and live more joyfully. I won’t promise you that you’ll never experience anger, but when you learn to be less reactive with it you can use these tools to move through it quicker and transform it in more healthy ways. Ideally it would be beneficial to work with our emotions to help us rather than harm us. The less anger you feel, the lighter you become. It can be like removing an anchor, unchaining your feet, or perhaps opening your heart.