All posts by Joy

Apr 03
2
Simplify

Simplify

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

Many times when our lives get overwhelming the best thing to do is simplify it all a little. We can get a little too far out into the unknowns, and that can cause us to make situations bigger than they are. We cause much of our own suffering with how we look at things and what we think about.

We can get caught up so easily in our judgments, biases, and opinions. We often are quick to make assumptions when instead we should take the time to investigate or learn from another’s experience. Often when we get frustrated and don’t understand something, it is simply because we haven’t walked in the other person’s shoes or because we don’t know what it feels like. At times we can open ourselves by listening. It can also slow and simplify our thinking.

Whether you’re overwhelmed feelings have to do with a disagreement or with having too much on your plate, listen to your inner self and step back a little. When you are feeling overwhelmed, you can cause yourself anxiety, bitterness, and unneeded extra stress. It can be helpful to scale back the things that are out of your control.

If you have too many things to do in a short time, redo your list. Look at what has to be done and see if you can delegate some things. And yes, this means you have to let go of some control. It just isn’t always worth the stress to have to have things “your way.”

If it seems your thoughts are mostly what is overwhelming you, you can use some tools to slow the momentum down. First of all, we can only take things a day at a time. Even that can get out in front of us and be too much. You may have to take it an hour or a moment at a time. This helps you bring your worries and perspective back into the present moment where you can gain some peace and clarity.

Listen to what your body and intuition are trying to communicate with you. Sometimes you simply need to rest and rejuvenate. Often I hear from clients that they feel guilty when they take time for themselves. Too often we feel like we have to do enough work to justify relaxation. Unfortunately we get caught up in a loop of always working and doing, which then causes us to lose balance. This is where many of our overwhelming feelings come from.

Simplifying really helps you to reel your mind back in to bring some relief. It may be you need to slow down. Take a break and allow yourself a nap. Get a massage. Watch a funny movie. Have some laughs with a friend. The key is to permit some space between the overwhelment and calmness you’re seeking. Whatever you can do in the moment when you feel overwhelmedness building up is the first step in turning down the paralyzing heat.

We are often taught about how to work harder and push through our problems. Sometimes a small break in the momentum gives you more leverage than force. I’ve read research stating that when you are very tired and try to push yourself through, you lose momentum and productivity and may fail to finish your project no matter how many hours you put in. If you can somehow walk away and give your mind a break to focus elsewhere even for twenty minutes, you can return and be more productive in twenty minutes than you would have been had you worked a few hours overtime.

The key is to simplify your thoughts. Allow the energy to fizzle out a little. It helps you regroup and open yourself to a better perspective. Often an even more productive one.

When in doubt, be patient with yourself and love yourself more. Love one another. Love your fellow humans. Love the animals. Love our earth that provides our home. Love as much as you can. For what you put out is what you’re contributing to the universe and what you will notice more of in your reality. Simplify your perspective and feel the power!

Mar 27
1
Appreciation

Appreciation

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

One thing I often hear people say is that they just want to be appreciated. In most areas of our life, we desire to be appreciated. Anywhere we put our time, energy, and efforts. We want the efforts we make and the love we bring forward to be acknowledged by our loved ones and family. Our caring for each other comes from the heart, and we want others to notice. When working in healthcare, it was one of the biggest complaints I heard from coworkers. The most common phrase was “I don’t need a big promotion or raise, I just want to feel appreciated.”

It seems to be the ultimate reward for all the hard work and dedication that we do not only in our work, but within our families. I think we like to think we are humble enough that we don’t need the recognition, but I think it is just a natural part of us that would like the confirmation that our efforts don’t go unnoticed. When we feel underappreciated, it can easily lead to negative feelings and, at times, depression. When we feel like no one cares, we can question our existence and purpose to live. Sometimes these feelings lead to actions. Some of us may seek another job. Some of us may end up leaving our spouse or having an affair. Those that choose to bury it inside can also manifest in illness and disease. Bitterness is not a friendly emotion.

When we expect others to appreciate our work and efforts, we may not realize we are giving away our own power to our emotions. Being dependent on how others think about or appreciate you can easily leave you feeling helpless and out of control.

The good news is that no matter where you are on the spectrum, we all have some options in dealing with these feelings. One place to start is to pay attention to how much you are appreciating others. The more you can show some appreciation to others, the more likely you are to notice it coming back to you. When you express your appreciation for another, often they will return the sentiment. Often we do not open the door to receive until we first give. We also help show people how we can treat one another. We often lead by example.

Another really powerful way to open up more love is to appreciate yourself. We aren’t often taught how to notice all the things we do daily for our families and those around us. When we can express loving kindness through appreciation with ourselves we end up filling up our own cup (heart). When our cup is full, our appreciation tends to overflow towards others. It also keeps us from feeling like we are depending on other people to receive appreciation and giving up more of our own control. Sometimes the reason people can’t appreciate you is because they do not know how to appreciate themselves.

Many times we aren’t aware of how much appreciation we are showing to ourselves and others. Once we are more mindful of how much appreciation we are feeling, demonstrating, and showing, we can take the steps to do it more often. Here is a wonderful opportunity to show those that are in our life how much we appreciate who they are and what they do. Write a heartfelt letter or email. Send a card or phone call to simply express your gratitude. You could even step up a little further and send some flowers, a gift basket, or maybe a gift certificate for a bakery or dinner. We don’t have to wait for a holiday or birthday to express some form of appreciation. Be creative. Think about how good it feels to randomly get an unexpected surprise. Notice how it makes you feel and see what returns to you!

Mar 20
1
Open for change

Open For Change

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

When you focus on wanting a situation to change, how often are you being open for the change? Many times we think we will feel better when certain circumstances change. We may not realize the magic of that power requires a different energy than we may be offering. When we encounter problems, we may focus on what we don’t want or infuse much worry into the process.

If we can step back and allow some openness to new ideas, we have the potential to receive more solutions, options, and possibilities. We have to be first willing to change. Being open and flexible allows you to see things from a different, maybe even renewed, perspective. When we concentrate on the problem for too long, we often close the door to the answers we are seeking.

Change isn’t easy for most of us. Our brains are hard-wired for habits. No matter how bad a situation may be, often we will continue thinking the same thoughts about it because we are comfortable and used to them. Some of our best ideas and most successful ventures are uncomfortable at first. They require us to move into a different space and find the energy to open to the unknown. They require us to be more conscious and aware of moving in a different direction.

Change doesn’t often come with a map. We are learning as we go. That can set our ego alarms off and we often hear “Negative Nancy” in there giving us all the reasons why change can go wrong. Next thing you know, you are arguing with yourself. It may seem much easier to agree with your doubts and worries than to be open to thinking differently about the situation. The harder step is to stand up to your doubts and push through them. When you find yourself up against fear and worry, this is a time to acknowledge the fear and be open to moving forward anyway.

Sometimes the avenue to your breakthrough is beyond the worry and fear. For things to get better or simply move in a new direction, we often have to be courageous enough to seek a change of direction first. Your happiness and goals can still be obtained, but it may not happen the way you want to force it to. There are many paths up a mountain, and being open to change allows more options and sometimes better routes.

Many times it may benefit us to adapt and go with the flow. When it doesn’t make sense and we can’t see the whole picture, we may struggle and resist the changes ready to make their way through. When we open ourselves and be more willing to change, we invite the energy into our lives that we are seeking. Similarly, when you focus on the things you don’t like or complain about, you find more thoughts like it. If you are more practiced at being grateful, you often find you have more to be thankful for. What you focus on expands. In order for unwanted things to change, you have to be open to the change of energy.

Though one of my favorite quotes from Ghandi was “To be the change you wish to see in the world,” it isn’t always as easy as the words flowing from our lips. The change takes being open. The change takes practice. The more you can be open to change you can open to the space for allowing it. You also better your leverage the energy, situation, or circumstance for the changes you wish to see.

When we are inflexible we aren’t going to be able to move in many directions. If you are open to more flow, you allow more options, miracles, possibilities, and potentials in your life. The next time you run upon doubts and resistance, remind yourself that you are willing to be open to change. Invite some ideas and inspiration to come your way by opening the door. You never know what good things may be knocking and trying to make their way to you.

Mar 13
1
Beating the winter blues

Beating The Winter Blues

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

It’s the time of year that many people struggle with beating the winter blues. When we feel cooped up inside for long periods and don’t get to receive some sunlight for vitamin D, it can really impact our moods. I know I tend to struggle in the cold months and miss sitting outside in the warm air on my deck. Winter depression can further weaken our immune systems as well.

I’ve learned over the years to be more prepared as the season approaches. To help me enjoy it rather than loathe it, I have a list of ideas and hobbies to enjoy during the season. Around the holidays I try to stock up on some new books, art supplies and inspirational things to look forward to. The time also gives me a little excuse to be reclusive to work on my writing. Writing brings forth some contentment for me and often involves spending lots of time engaging in the art. When life is busy, I can really struggle with boundaries and finding the extra time I need to devote to my passion. So now I can appreciate the cold months providing some gifts for me.

The winter months allow me more time for creativity and exploration. I can now see it as an opportunity to play with my artistic side. I have a regular art class, but in bad weather I can’t make it to the location and end up stuck at home more often. I get to use the time to play with what I learn, and to spend more time practicing.. Now I can get enthusiastic about being inside more often and feel like a kid excited to be out of school for snow.

I hear some of my clients say that they don’t feel like they are creative and artistic. I used to think that way myself. Whatever you tell the mind is what it believes. I want to tell you after being in art class for some time, I am amazed at what I have learned to do thus far. I want to point out that just because you haven’t learned something doesn’t not mean you can not do it. You may be slow and it may seem unnatural at first, but you can learn and you can allow creativity in.

You don’t need talent to embark on a new venture. Just the inspiration or curiosity. No one picks up a paintbrush, an instrument, or craft and perform like a professional from the get go. Even the folks born with certain talents got to the levels they perform at with years of practice. It is never too late to learn something you have always been drawn to. During these dark winter months is a wonderful time to explore those interests. Rather than expecting to get depressed or dreading the time, you can set up some time for some exploration on things you have always wanted to try. Or you can simply use the time to do the things you don’t have much time for.

When you can see past the struggles, you can change the momentum of the energy and the experience. It can be a way to transcend or turn the struggling around. I can’t promise you that you won’t experience any of the winter blues, but if you can approach them differently you may deal with them more easily. It can be harder to turn around if you wait until you are in the midst of those feelings and blues before you take action. It’s like swimming against the current.

I encourage you to acknowledge your challenges and explore interests and hobbies further with the opportunity at hand. Perhaps have some classes, supplies, or ideas ready ahead of time. You may even move through the season without noticing your old habits when you are engaged in some things you truly enjoy. Have fun and enjoy yourself. Your body, mind, and spirit will all thank you for it!

Mar 06
0
Bridging the gaps

Bridging The Gaps

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

As I take a step back from our recent headlines and debates, one big question I think many of our souls are searching for an answer to is “How can we start bridging the gaps in our humanity?” Between the eruptions through social media and our communicative technologies, we have noticeably become divided over many political, religious, and lawful views. These divisions exist among family, friends, nations, and world views.

We have advanced very far in our communications, reaching a variety of people, ages, demographics, and even places that have been more isolated from world events. With this increase of advancement with good intentions of connecting, we have also hit some barriers and problems to sort through and discern. We seem to be exposed to quick bits and pieces of information without the insight of the bigger picture. People who produce and send out pieces of information can easily portray it with agendas towards their opinions.

I’ve found often in just the past few years that I can find evidence to support either side of any topic I research. So no matter what side I may gravitate towards, there is much evidence to rebuke the thought. It really makes me question what we have referred to as facts over time. I read one definition that a fact is a piece of information used as evidence as part of a report or article. The more fascinating ponder is that there seems to be evidence not only on both sides of the arguments, but a variety of points all along the spectrum.

So as we continue to argue over the facts we may agree or disagree with, I think a big start for us all is to acknowledge that we all have different perspectives and life experiences. When we use our energy for arguing and debating, we slow down the progression we could be making towards solutions and possibilities. Step one may be identifying a problem or simply identifying where we need some balance. The issue I’m seeing more these days is not getting past step one.

To move forward in making our world a more peaceful, loving, and kinder place, we may need to find better paths to work in favor of these ideas. It starts with each one of us to work on our own fears, angers, and differences to bridge the gaps between each other. To question our judgements and stereotypes. Knowing where they come from and what we truly fear is a step along patching the divisions.

It’s natural to acknowledge we are all different. It’s questioning what we might fear about the differences of our opinions and beliefs that connect our humanity. We all have vulnerable feelings and we all struggle with things. I’ve not met another human that didn’t have that in common on some level. Regardless of our differences in sex, age, gender, culture, beliefs, and practices, we all have struggles and desires. And we can find common goals to work toward together .

For example, every client, friend, or stranger I’ve had the privilege of holding a conversation with wants happiness, security, freedom, and some purpose or fulfillment. I think we can too easily forget about how much common ground we have with one another and allow our differences to separate us. This separation is what causes our judgments, unkindnesses, misunderstandings, and wars with one another.

The beauty I see is that we can have a world full of differences. It seems pretty impossible to adopt any one opinion or lifestyle. Would you really want to live in a world where everyone ate the same food, wore the same clothes, drove the same car, and did the same thing for a living? I think most of us enjoy the variety. Not everyone desires to practice medicine, law, or work with their hands. Some people love technology, some love to work with people, some prefer to live a more quiet life and tend to nature and animals. We are all living with different visions and dreams.

I think it is good to remind ourselves of the similarities we share all together on this earth when we get heated, argumentative, and upset with one another. Bridging gaps with each other requires more connection and unity. We can do this with respect amongst our differences. The first step in change is believing we can. Then with those beliefs, we can move towards action.

I’m challenging you to a big idea. The idea is to be aware of your words, actions, and arguments. Whether it be face to face or perhaps on the Internet, be mindful and present in how you present your perspective and understanding. Help to bridge the gaps by being more open to hear opposing views by remembering our similarities as humans. Just because we have held a belief for a long time, doesn’t mean it stays true for us or serves humanity. I don’t expect to solve all the problems in one day, but I believe we can work on our presence and communication with each other. We can work towards bridging gaps instead of creating more rifts and disconnections.

Perhaps we are all the answer that our world needs.

Feb 27
1
Creativity

Creativity

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

To me, Creativity is a dance with our infinite soul in our expansive universe. For some it’s a tranquil space of surrender. It is definitely a way into joy. An expressive avenue for the soul. A brush with high flowing energy.

Creativity is not just new ideas or where solutions may stem from. It is a variety of energy that can be channeled in infinite ways. It can be an escape from the busyness, chattering, and problems of the world. Creativity comes from a perspective of openness and curiosity. It’s like tapping into the unknown. An outlet to release our energy and many times calm our negative emotions.

Creativity fires many wires in our brains. A connection from the heart and soul. The more creative I feel, the more life-giving energy I feel. It can feel like freedom and empowerment. A balance between the mind and soul. A channel for your soul to express itself. Creativity opens the floodgates of our imagination and the possibility of innovation. It allows the dreamer into a tangible reality.

It’s an invitation. Receiving some answer to our soul’s calling. We can’t always describe it, but we feel it when we are in that flow. The state of enjoyment. In this space, we lose time and worry. Our focus is matched with higher vibrations. When we can allow some creative space, we open ourselves up to the masterpieces within.

The more we say yes to creativity and the time to explore, we start living more joy-filled creative lives. I’ve found not only is the act of being creative itself helpful to my soul, but it also helps improve my performance in many daily tasks. I find that as I give time to my creative avenues, it gives me fuel for my work and responsibilities. The better you feel, the easier it is to do more of what you love and even the things in life that may not be as fun.

Sometimes we can get stuck in our left brain thinking we aren’t creative, but if we can allow some space and possibility along with some practice, we can tap into unlimited potential. We just have to give ourselves permission to move into the unknown energy. You do not have to be very talented or a master at something to be creative. It is simply saying yes to a bit of play and light-heartedness.

Creative endeavors allow the child within to explore. To let that feeling of youth and fun flow through. A smile from within your soul. Many people get these elated feelings from deep and regular meditation practices, but playing with our creativity can also be meditative. We have many ways to infuse more peace and tranquility into our lives, and being creative certainly adds a life onto its own.

Allowing some time each day or week can improve our moods more regularly. When we can balance life with some uplifting enjoyment, we add lighter and higher energy producing better vibrations. Think about how good it feels when you feel good.

I encourage you to say yes to creative energy. Whether it be through your work, play, or hobbies, you can experience deeper dimensions within yourself. You are a masterpiece always waiting to shine. Allow this inner love to move through. Express your lovely self more. Allow some magic in your life. The magic of you.

Feb 19
1
Relationships

Relationships

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

Our relationships are more than a contract of love. They are also opportunities for growth and expansion. In all of our relationships, we have times of good connection and bad. Through the journey in life we have many opportunities to expand love. We also have the opportunity to disconnect and separate.

Many of our relationships can be challenging. We aren’t always surrounded by our ideal set of people. We attract what we need to teach us what we are vibrating inside. Our relationships can often reflect the things we haven’t dealt with. No matter how much or how deep our love is for our families, spouses, and children, we will have interactions that we provoke from one another. Things we have the opportunity to face and work out.

Often our triggers play out through defensiveness. When we feel defensive or hurt, we are preventing ourselves from listening openly with our hearts. We may have some deep-rooted seeds from childhood or past experiences that we haven’t worked out and they play into our relationships later. Often when we don’t do the inner work, we may not even be aware of our triggers or the inner walls we’ve built.

We may have many excuses and reasons for our defensiveness, but we also are ignoring our opportunity to grow. This can affect our feeling of wholeness. When we feel defensive, we shut down and put up our shields. We can’t let much love in. Not only are we blocking the love from ourselves, we are experiencing more difficulty in our relationships.

It does require a bit of trust from yourself. We don’t always learn these foundations to aid in our relationships. When we point fingers and blame, we avoid seeing the truth within. We all have triggers we run up against, but to transcend them, we need to be more open and honest with ourselves about why we feel the way we do. Most of the time what triggered the emotion had little to do with the seed of our issue.

We all act as mirrors for each other. It’s not always easy to acknowledge that the aspect we don’t like to see in another is what is coming from ourselves. It takes practice to think about our reactions before they come out of our mouths. It takes more openness and patience to move through what emotions we are experiencing and what we are protecting ourselves from.

We use our emotional shields to try to protect ourselves, but they usually keep showing up until we deal with them. We are wired to feel instinctively protective, but we are also capable of transcending pain. This can certainly separate our connection with ourselves and each other. There is a time to protect ourselves from imminent harm and danger, but what I’m referring to is how our shields and defensiveness plays out into our relationships. Especially in our discussions, arguments, and disagreements.

We don’t always heal our triggers in one discussion or instant, but we can learn to be more aware of what is coming out and going on within. When we can listen more openly;, we can not only deepen our connection in our relationships, but also in ourselves. The more we face ourselves and heal our wounds, the more we raise our frequency and help those around us create the space to do the same. Our own healing heals the world. Together can help each other grow and heal.

Feb 13
1
Embrace the mess

Embrace The Mess

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

The things I’ve learned the most from on my journey to reach my dreams are the many messes I’ve made along the way. (“Mess” is just a word I like to use for when we can’t understand what is happening or when we come up against unknowns.) To learn to embrace the mess is where the magic tends to happen. We often think that if we have a well designed plan we avoid the messes and problems. Well, my friend, I’m here to inform you that the messes will be there at times and can add some value.

Sometimes the value is the simple appreciation you gain in obtaining your goals. They can be a teacher in things that work well and things to avoid. They may be the fork in the road to lead you in a better direction. Although our minds can envision many goals, we don’t get the crystal ball to know all the details we will need before we embark. This fear is often what stops us in beginning journeys or gathering the courage to follow our dreams.

The beauty is that you can experience your dreams through the messes. You will go through many experiences along the way. Many times when you reach a goal or an accomplishment, it isn’t until then that you notice your experience and knowledge came from the journey and not the end goal. The messes can help you gain the experience you may need and make you stronger by the time you reach your destination.

The point is that just like life will reveal some messes, you get them along with your passions and purposes as well. Learning to embrace the mess of the unknown is a way to move through them without giving up. Just because you move through a difficult fork in the road, doesn’t mean you have to throw in the towel or that it isn’t going to work out. Anything worth a journey is going to show you some bumps and upheavals.

I’ve also found in looking back at some adventures, they probably would have been boring or lost momentum if I didn’t get to experience some messes along the way. The messes are often what makes the great story. Imagine watching a movie without any conflict or plot. I know my family often gets bored with movies if they don’t involve some action!.

We can embrace the messes in the journey and view them as our exciting points and moments along the way. We often react with despair when things do not move smoothly and difficulties arise. It can take a different way of looking at things to move through them. Especially problems we encounter. It’s a choice in how we see our messes. Are we viewing them as problems, or as a balance to a better solution? If the opportunity didn’t present itself, you may not see the need to change it.

Think about it as a leaky faucet. You could get angry that the faucet is leaking, or you could be grateful that you found it before major damage was done. You at least had the opportunity to try to take care of it before a worse outcome presented itself. I’m sure there are some things we can often agree on. It’s not always fun to do home repairs and pay taxes. But we can choose a more positive approach to those things. If we have home repairs, it means we have a home. If we have taxes to pay, we have some money to circulate. I know some people who love home repairs and that is why they do it for a living. They like the adventure of solving those problems for people.

We all move through messes differently. We can embrace them as puzzles to solve. We can also seek help from those who enjoy the puzzles and mystery. Regardless of how we choose to handle them, we have the option in our reactions to them. When you change the energy of a mess or problem to an opportunity or a blessing, not only do you empower yourself in how you handle it, but you also raise the vibration of how you experience it. How you move through the messes is a choice.

You have the option to move through them with anger and frustration. Perhaps even kicking and screaming along the way. Or… You can infuse them with some hope, faith, and maybe even some joy. Being in peace doesn’t mean nothing will ever disturb you; it means you can experience each disturbance calmly and resiliently. As we move through life and along our journeys, we have a choice to embrace our messes and to move through them with more grace and ease. When you can appreciate the obstacles, you may be able to see more possibilities and receive more solutions just by changing the energy you infuse them with. I’m a firm believer that you can change your outcome by adjusting your attitude.

Feb 06
0
Focus on your feeling

Focus On Your Feeling

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

When you can focus on your feelings, you are able to understand what is coming into your life and the option to change it. We aren’t taught in our society how powerful our thoughts and feelings are. Once you know your thoughts turn into things, you can use this leverage to your advantage in your life.

I often find that people who are generally sarcastic and pessimistic do not realize they are bringing more negativity to them. What you project out into the world is what you attract and see more of. Basically the more you complain, the more you will find things to complain about. The troubling part is that it can become a habit that hurts you more than you may notice.

The good news is that you have a choice every day in each moment of how you look at things and what you feel. You can change any habit around, but it doesn’t seem to happen immediately often. To change any habit, it requires practicing it repeatedly. Once you do this long enough, you reprogram your subconscious mind to develop the habit into the better one. Then it becomes second nature in your thoughts and reactions.

For example, let’s say you are predominantly negative. If you notice yourself mostly complaining or saying pessimistic things, you are pulling this from other people you interact with and from the universe. It really helps to pay attention to the thoughts you are thinking, the feelings you are feeling, and the words you are saying. Once you are aware of these habits, you can better understand what you are experiencing in life. You may also be able to understand the people whom you have attracted in your life.

If you are feeling predominantly positive and good things continue to improve for you, you have a strong foundation to build upon. I highly encourage you to keep up the good work. You will reap more and more rewards for the kindness and positivity you put out into the world.

If you feel like things look pretty gloomy or you just notice how bitter and negative you feel, you can slow it down and start turning it around. It doesn’t happen all at once, and often baby steps are the easiest. I can tell you from experience and in practicing my better thoughts the past few years, it took patience and persistence. Science also shows you can turn it around and reprogram those pesky habits.

The more you practice and the more you can pivot the negative feelings around, the easier it gets. Just like going to the gym and building muscles, you get stronger. As we find ourselves in the New Year, we often see it as a new start with new opportunities. Many people take this time to create new goals, discover improved ways of living, or set their minds to accomplish better intentions. Some of the top changes that many intend to make are to lose weight, eat healthier, go to the gym, quit smoking, and reorganize their homes.

All these goals can be beneficial goals if they’re the changes you desire, but some helpful tips can make it easier for you to accomplish these changes. Many times we start out with some strong momentum and find ourselves falling off the wagon or not seeing our goals through. It feels like a crushing defeat when you accomplish your goals only to return to the old ways before the end of the year.

To truly change our habits requires retraining and rewiring in the brain. We are often taught it’s action oriented, but if you do not successfully retrain those subconscious habits, our brain is setup to return to our old default patterns simply because we have practiced them for so long. We trained them that way to begin with. The more we can understand how our minds work and are designed, the more we can use it to our advantage. It takes some cleaning up of the mind’s habits to reach our goals.

It really is changing our mindsets first. And they take practice to see the manifestations. Think of it like cleaning out and organizing your closet. We get rid of things we don’t use anymore and organize our belongings to be more functional. The same goes for our minds as well. If we can recognize the patterns that aren’t serving us well, we can catch them before we act on them.

It takes awareness and practice. As we are aware of the habits we would like to change, we can then notice how we sabotage ourselves with our own thinking. To turn it around we have to slow the momentum of those habits and continue practicing the new changes repeatedly. Over time we can see and feel the improvements. It may be a slower process, but in the long haul it is how we permanently make the changes that are often temporary. It is a bit more than just reading inspirational quotes that make those changes.

The inspiration can certainly help get us going, but it’s the repeated practice in our thinking that aligns us with our goals. Often we do not take the time to identify why we are doing the habits we want to change to begin with.

It starts with our emotions. Many times we overeat, smoke, or live more in chaos in response to stress. Until we tackle the emotions behind the stress, our brains fall back into those subconscious habits. It helps to start slowly and gently. Be aware of how you are feeling when you are performing the habit you want to change. Are you present during these moments? Start to break down what relief you get when you do the habit. When you can become aware of your triggers, you can either replace or create a different way of responding.

Setting intentions is only the beginning of change. It takes the daily practice to receive the turn around. The good news is that your brain is capable of rewiring anything. Really! There is much research and scientific evidence now that proves anything is possible. There are reports and studies of people healing diseases and disabilities and attracting their dreams into their lives, all using their minds. The healing starts in the mind first.

I’m not saying actions never produce results, but when you get down to retraining and rewiring your habits from your mind, you leverage much more power than trying to hammer them out like a drill sergeant. It is the difference in trying to force things to happen versus allowing the flow to sail you.

We are usually very motivated and excited in the beginning, but when it seems to get challenging, I encourage you to work with your mind and emotions. If it’s worth it, it helps to understand it’s worth the time to change it. You are also more powerful when you can love yourself more during the process. When you are negative towards yourself and your emotions, you are struggling uphill against them. When you are loving towards yourself, you get a periscope look into what you’re trying to heal or avoid.

This takes time, patience, and love. You most likely developed the habits over time and replacing these ways of thinking takes time as well. Remind yourself of that, and of how powerful and capable your brain really is. Talk to yourself like you are your friend on this journey. Your body and mind need your support to perform their miraculous new changes! . In those first steps when we don’t get the results quickly, we may disbelieve the change is possible. That is how we easily slide back into our old habits. Just like weeding a garden so new growth can come through in the spring, we need to do the same for our minds.

It may take some time to replace our weeds with seeds. If you observe or study a garden, it takes some time, love, and patience to grow our fruits, vegetables, and flowers. Remember this as you feel challenged in the process of change. You have to be as gentle with yourself as if you are caring for your own plants and gardens. Just as they respond more positively with love, so do you.

I encourage you not to give up on yourself and keep going. Setbacks and falls are just feedback in what you’re thinking. Rather than getting frustrated or beating yourself up, use the knowledge to see where you can heal those triggers. Treat yourself with loving kindness so you can bounce upwards to those higher vibrations and better feelings. The better you feel, the better life can get. Focus on those feelings.
When you feel good, focus on all the things working well. When you feel bad or negative, work on rotating those around by noticing your responses and figuring out how you may can change them for the better.

It’s a daily practice. It requires paying attention and focusing on your feelings each day. The more aware you are, the better you can choose what is best for you.

Jan 30
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What does it mean to disagree

What Does It Mean To Disagree

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

What does it mean to disagree? Often when we disagree with another, we can get stuck in a loop of our own perspective. It’s difficult to slow down or stop the momentum once you are engaged in a heated discussion or disagreement. If you can reflect on the experience, you could grow.

Though it’s not my strong suit, I’ve been working on being a better listener. In this I find that when we argue and communicate with another, we are often distracted by thinking of our own response rather than truly hearing the other’s perspective. Our egos can fixate on wanting to be “right” or proving our own points. Whether or not we agree with what the person is saying, we can listen to allow some understanding of why they feel or see the way they do.

When we truly use the art of listening, not only are we hearing the person from a deeper level, we are more present with them. We are holding the space to let them express their feelings and perspective, and we are respecting their time to communicate. If we can allow them the time to share their experience before wanting to jump in, argue, or respond, we allow a deeper connection.

I’m still practicing on this myself, but I’m learning if I respond too quickly, I miss the opportunity for the growth and connection within myself. In addition to listening better, I’m also learning that when I may disagree, I can still infuse the experience with respect and love. It takes me practice and I don’t nail it every time. I’m simply doing better than I used to. Communication with each other is often our biggest barrier. Since it can be tricky to get your message or feelings across, we can hold the intention of love in our heart while discussing matters. It helps to remember the person you’re speaking to might understand, see, or experience the subject matter differently than you.

I have a dear friend Steve. Among the many things I admire about him is his strength in listening and the respect he gives when he listens to you even when he may disagree with you. He has always held space to hear me out and my perspective on a topic or situation. When he responds he validates what has been expressed to him which shows me he really listened. Then when uses his turn to speak, He will then proceed to give some feedback from his perspective. I have to point out that I also I love the Art of how he responds. Commonly when he uses his turn to speak he proceeds by saying Joy… For me…,” which seems to give this little magical space of responding from his perspective without losing the respect of my own. Many times he will come at the topic from an angle that I haven’t experienced or maybe observed before. The way he delivers his conversations makes me feel comfortable hearing a potentially different or opposite perspective. What I think he infuses in his art of communicating is being able to have a conversation without judgment.

He inspires me to be a better communicator and listener. Learning and observing this from my friend over the years helps me to disagree better. I don’t think we are often taught how to respectfully disagree with one another and it often comes out messy and offensive furthering misunderstanding one another. Once we create harsh feelings and defensiveness we put up a wall preventing growth and expansion. We become more consumed in how we see things and narrow the space we can hold for one another.

Understanding our flaws in listening and disagreeing with another is one thing, and practicing is another. Sometimes it starts with small steps of awareness. The next time you feel like you are moving into an argument or feel the discussion getting heated and rousing up negative feelings, ask yourself how you want to continue to navigate. You can slow the momentum down by saying, “I may be coming through from a different experience, let me hear more from how you see or experience it.” Or you could say, “You know, you may be right or onto something I hadn’t considered.” It may feel a little difficult initially, but you are not agreeing or disagreeing with them. You are just finding a way to connect deeper and an opportunity to listen or even disagree with love and respect over hurtful comments and feelings.

If you find yourself really down the rabbit hole, you may simply need to look at the other person and apologize for the argument. Tell them how you feel about them and acknowledge the relationship is more important than the different perspective. You may need to walk away and allow peace and calmness to return. You may not be able to turn every disagreement around so quickly and easily, but as you reflect on these instances, you can choose another direction in the future.

With so many platforms that we now receive news and information from, we can easily get into heated discussions or arguments on large scale problems. You can scale it back and think of simpler comparisons to help you through the sludge. For example, I simply do not care for sauerkraut. My entire family loves it. My father makes it from scratch and prides himself on his craft. It is also nature’s probiotic and very healthy for you. I can give you so many examples of why I could enjoy sauerkraut, but no matter what another’s reasoning or perspective is, I simply do not like sauerkraut. I have my reasons to back it up. I don’t care for the taste, I once got very sick on cabbage and prefer not to eat it ever since, and I can’t get past the smell very well. Like many disagreements, everyone has their reasons to back up their opinions. I may strongly dislike sauerkraut, but can respect that my family loves it. We just lovingly disagree.

Life is a lot like the small things on a larger scale. When you disagree with someone over their beliefs, politics, or preferences, just remember it is okay to disagree. We can be better humans to each other by allowing more artful and peaceful conversations with each other. If we can do this with our everyday conversations, imagine what a difference we could make in mending disagreements that affect the world at large!