Category Archives: positive thoughts

May 29
1
Setbacks

Setbacks

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Sometimes in life we experience setbacks. It can be easy to get frustrated with our detours in life. When we can take a step back and remember that setbacks are also forward progress, we can change the energy we interact with. Many times our setbacks are really setups for better success. We often need the detours to prepare us for situations ahead.

We may initially try to take the perspective that things are going wrong simply because it wasn’t in our plans. No matter the path in life, we will experience variations not planned for the destination. These fluctuations present opportunities to learn and grow. As we grow, we strengthen what we do. Learning is generally more effective when you directly experience it. So when someone advises you on a road they have traveled, keep in mind yours will always still go differently even if your goal is a similar road. You cannot duplicate the process in life.

When things happen, they happen for you. When you compare your experience with others, you miss the opportunities to help yourself. When we can focus on what is happening for us, we can understand our setbacks and detours in a way that helps us. When we get discouraged because things aren’t going the way we wanted or planned, we can block the liberation that comes with the experiences.

So many successful people have fallen and failed at several ventures and avenues before they found the niche that catapulted them to success. If we look at setbacks as failures, we may give up our dreams and goals, not knowing the setbacks were needed for the catapult. If we can take a step back during setbacks and polish our perspective towards understanding that there is something to be learned, we change the energy moving forward. We can pivot towards a more rewarding experiences.

Success is generally reached through a process. It’s called a process for a reason. There are no straight lines. Nor can anyone tell you exactly what to expect on your journey. The future in its full magnitude is the mystery of life we get to work with. Nothing is guaranteed in the process or how things will go. We can look at it as a scary horrible thing causing worry. Or we could see it as a magical mystery with many possibilities.

How we look at it directly affects how we feel. Our feelings have power in the universe. Many people have quoted the phrase “what you think, you become.” The thoughts you think, the words you use, and the energy you give out all affect your reality and experience. Being mindful of how you think and feel also allows you the option to change. Don’t you think it’s nice to know that if you don’t like what you are experiencing and getting, you have a choice in changing it?

We often think we don’t have the power to change things. We do have the power to change ourselves and our perspective of the situations. That is where our power and leverage lie. Sometimes we find this strength in the setbacks. Setbacks can teach us some of our greatest lessons. Without them, we may never reach our set goals.

The next time you are experiencing a setback, rather than feeling discouraged, try getting excited about what there is to learn. Ask yourself, “What new and better way is showing up on the horizon? “ When setbacks happen, instead of asking yourself what else can go wrong, try approaching the magic of life with the question “How much better can things get?”

May 21
1
Mindset

Mindset

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What mindset are you dominantly living? As you move through your day, are you appreciating yourself or criticizing yourself? It’s the thoughts and feelings you repeat to yourself all day. Many times we can get caught up in being hard on ourselves and criticizing what we think needs improvement. What you may not realize is that the the words you are thinking repeatedly become your mindset that you operate from.

When you get up each day and get ready, do you appreciate that you are alive? That your heart is beating and you have a home? A place to work possibly and transportation? You may have clothes to wear, running water, and soap to start your day. Are you appreciating and acknowledging your basic needs? Not only that, but are you recognizing how much you really do have?

Or… Are you criticizing yourself more than you know? Are you hard on yourself because of how much you weigh? Are you beating yourself up for any wrinkles or disabilities? You may not have perfect straight teeth, or the fit abs seen on the cover of a magazine. We often criticize what we should eat, what we should wear, and how we present ourselves. We can bog down our light and energy when we condemn our looks and actions. We torture ourselves in attempts to meet what we think others expect. Or maybe we have picked up some bad habits of striving to look like someone other than our beautiful self.

We all have beauty to offer and in our own unique ways. We are not the size of our clothing. We are not the color of our skin. We are not the house we live in, the car we drive, or the designer clothes we may wear. We are souls living in bodies. Our bodies come in all shapes sizes, colors, and preferences. No two are the same. We might intellectually know and admit this, but inside your mind, you may not be telling yourself these things every day.

In our culture, we have consumed ourselves with images of how we “should” strive to look. We are bombarded with images of what to achieve and compare with others. We become hard on ourselves trying to keep up with popular opinions.

There is great power in improving to feel better. It’s healthy to envision goals and dreams. The difference is we often attempt these goals by disapproving of ourselves. Think about how children blossom. Many times we have discovered that children thrive and respond better to positive reinforcement. When we say hurtful things and condemn them, we are planting a seed for poor self esteem. Just the way you would praise a child and point out the good in them to help them see, we need to remember to be as kind to ourselves. We are children within.

We don’t all get those solid foundations growing up and as adults we still have the opportunity to love, heal, and appreciate ourselves. We just first have to be mindful of the thoughts we think and the words we tell ourself. Once you are aware of what you are repeating to yourself each and every day, you can practice being better to yourself. Even if you want to improve on some of the things you see, you can leverage better power when you can do it in a kind and loving way.

Learning how to love and appreciate yourself can take some time, but the more you practice, the more you can raise your energy, vibration and mindset for more nurturing thoughts and experiences. We are often taught to put others before themselves. Then when we try to be kind to ourselves we may battle some guilt. When you learn to let go of expectations, you can start to appreciate more of what you have and the blessings you live with each day. This programs your mindset and dominates your experience.

The more aware of your mindset, the more you can work on what you are depositing. The more kind and loving you are with your mindset, the more kind and loving results you can certainly achieve.

May 07
1
Anxiety

Anxiety

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Worry and anxiety are the most common struggles I hear regularly from my clients. For years, it’s not been uncommon to hear people worry about their children, their health, or perhaps their finances. What I am seeing in more recent years is the dramatic shift in stimulation throughout our culture from the news on TV, the Internet, and the abundance of content on social media.

We are exposed to more and more advertising, negative news, and often scenarios that plant worries in our minds. We are bombarded by information to add to our own thousands of thoughts each day. If you sit and think about it, it’s enough to overwhelm you and possibly stir up much anxiety. The more we stimulate our nervous system with frequent anxiety, the more it shows up in our health.

Anxiety increases our blood pressure, frequently upsets our gastrointestinal system, slows down our breathing (sometimes causing hyperventilation), tenses our muscles (at times causing cramps, aches and pains), and for some people triggers tension headaches (from clenching their jaws) and often disrupts their sleep. Experiencing these symptoms often leads to larger health problems.

Whether you are feeling tired and uneasy from anxiety, or experiencing larger issues like anxiety attacks, heart problems, ulcers, or maybe insomnia, we can probably agree that we can use more tools and helpful activities to counteract these disturbances as much as possible. Just decreasing the amount of worrying we do each day will have a big impact on our mental and physical well-being.

The good news is once you are aware of your worrying and anxiousness, you can find ways of decreasing it to promote better health and healing. What relaxes one person may be very different for another. The key is finding some things that help you relax, release some worry, and feel better.

I feel lucky to have grown up in a time and place that I spent much time alone in nature without the overstimulation of technology and electronics. I did struggle with boredom from time to time, but I did not experience an overload of news and information. I was able to enjoy the quiet moments and turn to these tools today. When I get overwhelmed or stressed, I may find a quiet place to breathe, meditate or simply rest. If the weather is nice, I love to sit in the sun on my deck or take a walk.

Today many of our children are growing up in a noisier and busier world. I too enjoy the neat inventions and innovations, but it can be important to be aware of how much anxiety and overstimulation we are experiencing and of how much time we are spending on our technology. When we are busy and overloaded, we may forget the importance of balancing these stressors.

Our children may be wound up with energy that they don’t have the techniques to balance and calm their mind. It can show up in disruptions in school and focus. As adults and parents, we are too often becoming overly engaged with our technology and not providing examples of balance. Being a wife and mom, running a business, blogging, and taking regular art classes, I truly understand the challenges of a busy life infused in a very busy and noisy world.

Some good news is there is much you can do about it. Finding ways that help you channel your anxious energy into calmer feelings is only step one. Making regular time for it is another. Often we can put off things that are healthy and good for us until we feel like we have the time, which often just keeps us from not doing them.

Go about it in ways that fit you and your life. You may be one that cannot hold yourself accountable to the intentions you set. If you do, find ways that help you regularly schedule your hobbies or relaxation. If walking relaxes you, find a friend or loved one to keep dates with. If you like to read for relaxing, you can join a book club. If you relax with yoga and meditation, you might sign up for some classes. If you enjoy getting a massage for health and relaxation, make some appointments. If you’re not even sure what relaxes you, take some time to try some new things. If you have always been interested in art, cooking, dancing, acting, or perhaps learning to play and instrument, there is always time to sign up for a beginners class. The point is whatever it is that helps you to feel more fun, ease, and balance, make sure you make time for it weekly. It can be a variety of things or a routine that turns into a habit.

For the way my brain seems to work, I turn to a variety of things to help me balance the busyness and overstimulation I experience. I’ve had to be open and try many new things to find the experiences that help me relax. My balance looks a bit different each week. This is what works best for me. You really need to tune into those interests that soothe your soul and fit them in the best you can for your lifestyle.

The more you implement aspects of your life that invoke peace, calmness, and positive feelings, the more control you can have over your health and how you feel. The more tools you have to counteract anxiety, the more choices you have in how you handle your life in the face of challenges like overstimulation.

Apr 30
1
Negative Emotions

Negative Emotions

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We all experience negative emotions. When we experience something unpleasant it can be hard to look deeper into those feelings. But if we can allow a little space for negative feelings before our quick reactions, we can help oursleves to manage and steer our negative emotions better. With practice, you can even lessen them.

Something that may be hard for us to understand is what triggers our negative emotions. We can often be quick to blame another person, but the people who trigger these negative emotions are messengers for unhealed parts of our being. When we are triggered, we usually respond with our default patterns.

These unhealed emotions can show up as anger, aggression, hurt, blame, and simply argumentative behaviors. We aren’t always taught how to deal with or respond to negative feelings. It is also something most of us struggle with. When we habitually blame someone else for triggering our negative emotions, it can become our first instinct.

It may be easier to work through and grow if you can become more aware initially of when you are feeling these negative emotions and step back a little to try to see what exactly they are triggering inside of you. We often carry unhealed experiences with us and when we feel this hurt or anger, we may act on them without understanding the deeper seed.

It can take some reflection and work with our soul to acknowledge that our pain can take time to heal and learn to pivot negative emotions with some loving thoughts towards ourselves. Our emotions are our body’s way of communicating what is going on in the inside. Our compass can help us be more aware of where we are feeling love and where we still may be experiencing some pain. Discomfort may be masked negative emotions.

When we feel negative emotions towards someone, It can be hard to understand that we are acting as mirrors for each other. How you may think another person makes you feel is actually a mirror to show you where you need healing. We may not always heal those experiences instantly just because we have been triggered, but we can work with them. We can use them to our advantage. We can be quick to react rather than giving ourselves time with our negative emotions that become triggered. We may not be disciplined enough to give ourselves time for a response. Sometimes it’s even wiser not to respond until you know what is really going on from the inside.

A small start is to simply pay attention to when you are feeling angry, negative, or tempted to enter an argument, take some deep breaths and count to ten before responding. This may be tricky in the instant, so you may also try to excuse yourself, or kindly walk away. If you can recognize when you are feeling these emotions, you can buy yourself a little time before you choose an altercation. You can use the opportunity from the person that triggered the emotions to transcend the negative feelings. It can be a small start of simply not joining every argument your ego wants to react to. It also helps you break some habits of feeling angry easy.

Most of this inner work and healing does take time. Especially when you have held anger for years. Often we do not tune in to see what may be going on within. It’s a journey. Being angry and feeling negative is not helpful to your mind, body, and spirit. If often manifests in your health. So recognizing and dealing with negative emotions is not just an attempt in being happy and feeling good, it is also helpful to assist in your health and prevention of illnesses.

Working through negative emotions can be considered good medicine for your immune system. The key is being gentle with yourself and understand we all go through things in our life that deserve the attention to heal. The reason anger can be hurtful and uncomfortable is because it’s like a poison with much potential damage to the body. Unless we learn to channel these feelings in a positive and productive way, we are harming ourselves. When we point that anger towards others we aren’t healing and spreading more poison within.

Awareness is the first step. Then you can move on towards giving space to these emotions and work at practicing our reactions. We don’t often change our habits overnight, but we can allow them some time and space to improve and help our mind, body, and soul to thrive better in the process. Health is certainly not only what we eat and our physical activity, but very importantly the thoughts we think and emotions we feel.

Apr 23
1
Trash days

Trash Days

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I had a client tell me an interesting story about how his family sometimes has “trash days.” For them, a “trash day” is a really bad day that they choose to throw out with the trash.

The thing I found most intriguing about this idea was how the family used this tool to transform negative momentum into positive momentum. Sometimes when we experience a string of bad events, it can lower our energy and our moods and manifest even more unwanted circumstances.

Trashing the day and starting over brings you back into the present moment. Here you have some time to reground yourself. You create some space to allow more possibility and better things to flow. Have you ever noticed when a few things are going wrong that they continue to get worse? What we don’t always notice is we can get caught up in complaining about the circumstances and adding negative energy and power to attract more. Especially when we say things like, “What else can happen?” Or “What else can go wrong today?” I don’t know about you, but every time I have asked this, things get worse. One of the hardest habits I’ve had to break is asking these two questions.

Sometimes we don’t get too far into our day before it turns to trash. At this time you may have a day of work or responsibilities to finish before the day is over. We can’t always go straight home and hide under our bed sheets until it’s over, even if we are secretly daydreaming about it. In these instances we can be mindful of our reactions and try some ways to slow the momentum down.

I understand when you have had a day with many unfortunate events taking place, it can be hard to turn it around. You may find yourself dealing with frustration, anger, and disappointment in the incidents. If you can slow down just enough to realize that your reactions add to or take away from the momentum, you can empower yourself to turn it around.

Sometimes the best scenario is to at least slow down your anger and negative feelings. Some circumstances can be a bit out of our control. What we can work on is how we respond. This is one way for the trash day to come in. Realizing that we all have trash days may give you reassurance that it can happen to anyone. Knowing that we can trash it and move on can give us some hope. Especially for a better tomorrow. When you find yourself at the end of a bad day, this is a perfect time to consider trashing it. Take any lessons that could have come with it as wisdom, but by letting it go we take away its power. You don’t want carry that energy into the next day.

Just some ideas to consider. When you notice your day feeling sour, try out a few ways to change the energy or at least your mood. You may need to walk away and give yourself a little fresh air. We may not always be in a situation to implement every idea that calms you, but you can be creative. I had to be creative in a few previous jobs to find a time out option. When I worked as a nurse, the day could get hectic and head south quickly without much warning. I wasn’t always in a position to go walk around the building. What I could do at times was to go to the restroom and lock the door behind me. I would sit down just for a few minutes and take some deep breaths. Just enough to calm me down and let me get some better footing before I returned to the chaos. I really think some of you would be amazed at what little time it can take for a few deep breaths to help you. The important thing is just to do it.

When you let the stress and chaos build up in your life, it can affect your health and your family when you get home. It often spills over somewhere. If I had utilized more of these tools in my nursing days, I would bet I would have held less stress in by body, probably gotten rid of my heartburn quicker, and definitely been less cranky towards my family. Sometimes it’s good to sit in your vehicle for a few minutes before going straight home to center yourself and separate what happened at work so you can be calmer and more present when you get home. In all the years of working, I don’t think anyone taught me this and it would have come in handy in some of the stressful jobs I had. I know many of you out there are working in daily stressful environments.

Whether you are attempting to slow down the momentum in the beginning or middle of the day, know you can use some deep breathing or a relaxing technique that helps you fizzle that energy. Watch something funny online, envision a better scenario, or sit and think of as many things you can be grateful for in that moment. Gratitude can be much more powerful than we often think. When you are at a point to trash the day, it may be the best idea left. Allow the negativity to dissipate. Sometimes holding the intention in your mind that the day is a trash day helps your mind to simply let it go and look forward to better things to come.

Apr 17
1
A time to adjust our lenses

A Time To Adjust Our Lenses

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I think now is the perfect time to adjust our lenses. Every day in my practice seeing clients and interacting with the world, whether it be in person or via Internet, I observe so many of us amplifying the problems we see. And I’m not disagreeing that much has happened lately. I just want to clarify the opportunity we have to step back and adjust.

Before we continue to dwell on our variety of problems and differences, I think we can also take the time to infuse ourselves with positive energy for change. Once we identify problems, we do not move forward with the same energy as complaining about them. We can become advocates for solutions. There is a time to voice concern and exercise the rights we may have to vote. Beyond our wishes to be heard, we are living day to day amongst each other with choices in whether to argue or understand each other.

The differences we can make to a more amazing world is in our daily interactions. When we adjust our focus from how bad the world is today towards how amazing our world can be, we open more doors of possibility. Resistance closes doors while acceptance opens them. Adjusting our lenses towards possibility is where we can be more powerful. We all have a choice in how we see things. We also have the choice in adjusting our lenses no matter how long we have seen things one way.

We have options for a better world, a better society, better communities, and better selves. A start is moving away from the energy of complaining and grumbling and towards a more applauding and uplifting energy. Lower energies feel heavier and harder to move against. Higher energies are lighter and easier to glide through. When we adjust our lenses to work with more empowering energies, we can accomplish things a lot more easily.

Think of it this way: Is it easier to push a car up the hill or down? The way we use our energy can change the momentum of how we are approaching it. We can definitely fly a kite easier with wind under the sails. So as we embark on daily tasks, interactions, and conversations, think about the energy you are bringing to the table. Are you helping or resisting? Is it necessary or limiting? Just be aware of where you point your energy and how you have adjusted your lenses.

Imagine how amazing our world can be if we all did a little adjusting. Together. Are we more powerful complaining,y or infusing more compassion? How do you feel when someone complains about you or your beliefs versus praising you for your actions and feelings? You are only responsible for what energy you inject outward. What are you radiating every day?

We might not have the opportunity to start over, but we always have the choice in how we move forward. Now is the perfect time to adjust our lens and purposely decide on what energy we contribute to. Aren’t our health, our loved ones, our fellow living beings, and our earth worth it? The question isn’t what everyone else is doing. The question is what are you doing with your energy? The choices in adjustments are up to each of us every day.

Apr 09
1
Dramas

Dramas

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Drama is a part of life. We see many dramas played out through our medias. We know more about what goes on in each other’s lives than ever before through our technology advancements. As always, we can find good points and some negative ones too. Paying attention to how they influence our lives can also help you make choices in where you focus your energy.

Dramas represent our strong emotions amplified. They project what we are feeling on the inside. There are times and places that controlling our dramas and feelings can be more beneficial. Outside of emergency situations, crises, and unexpected major events, we might want to consider the scale of how much we are amplifying our dramas. In everyday life, it can be good to be aware of what you are magnifying and exposing yourself to.

I personally use Facebook for connecting to my family who live all over the country, friends I don’t get to see often, and my clients who use the convenience in communicating along with booking appointments. I use it because it provides me with many advantages. With these advantages I’ve had to be more mindful and aware of how I handle the disadvantages.

Some disadvantages that I think many of us are dealing with are the dramas we are exposed to. Anything from a friend getting frustrated at a store, to sad stories and horrific traumas happening in the world. We struggle with trying to be informed and getting overloaded with unpleasing or unbalanced information. It can feel a bit like a battle between the pros and cons.

I do like that we can have conversations with people all over the world. It can help us gain different perspectives that we might not otherwise have access to in our daily lives. Especially if you don’t travel far.

We live in a society inundated with marketing. We are constantly being marketed to, studied, and swayed from our beliefs. It has happened for many years through our use of TV, radio, news, and papers. Now that the Internet has made massive leaps, we are bombarded with thousands more a day. In this arena we are receiving more and more information to filter through. This can sway and throw us off balance.

I see how more and more information exposure is causing stress, overwhelm, and anxiety in people. It can be time consuming enough to be mindful of your own thoughts, family and co-workers, but now we are also allowing in lots of people into our space of thinking and feeling. If we do not learn a balance of what we expose ourselves to, we can have more emotions to deal with burdening our state of mind and health.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and dealing with emotions of anger and frustration on a daily basis by what you’re reading and seeing, your first step is being aware of the issue. Put some brakes on and monitor what you’re often feeling and what that is. Does the media you expose yourself to make you feel uplifted and joyful most often? Or are you noticing how angered, frustrated, or worked up you tend to get more often? When I stepped back I had some rearranging to do. When you allow more negative emotions to control your daily life, you end up allowing more of the same energy to surround you.

Just as you choose whom you spend time with and who are your trusted friends, you may need to stake stock in how you’re spending your time and energy through your social media. You have an opportunity to bring more peace and clarity into your life by navigating your focus and energy better. I have found that being mindful helps. There can be many ways you can improve your experience. It takes some practice to find some boundaries and filter to figure out what works for you.

You may want to vary how you spend your time and energy. For every hour you are on your technology, you can give yourself an hour to go outside, exercise, take a nap or a relax in a bath. Perhaps get a massage, paint, or even meditate. Balance helps you be more centered as you expose yourself to a lot of information.

Another side of the equation is what you are giving attention to in your media. Just as we often tell our children about being mindful of who they spend their time with, we could use the same advice on what exposure we are often allowing into our minds and experiences.

When communicating on your social platforms, what is worth your time and emotions? Are you kindly discussing your differences, or feeling argumentative and negative towards others? We can choose to get involved, emotional, and overheated by the dramas in life, or we can choose to allow them to pass through.

We often get into habits of just moving through our day rather than being mindful of our navigations through our day. Being mindful gives you the opportunity to choose how you want to interact with the dramas. Once you’re more sure-footed in how you respond and spend your time, you can focus better on your energy and interactions. You can steer into a more deliberate direction.

If we can be more aware of how we are interacting, creating and experiencing our medias, we can also choose how we steer our wheel. When you are mindful of how you create your environment, you empower yourself to what moves into your space. You can utilize your advantages more by tipping your scale. Being responsible to the energy you invite into your space leverages your experience magnificently.

Apr 03
2
Simplify

Simplify

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Many times when our lives get overwhelming the best thing to do is simplify it all a little. We can get a little too far out into the unknowns, and that can cause us to make situations bigger than they are. We cause much of our own suffering with how we look at things and what we think about.

We can get caught up so easily in our judgments, biases, and opinions. We often are quick to make assumptions when instead we should take the time to investigate or learn from another’s experience. Often when we get frustrated and don’t understand something, it is simply because we haven’t walked in the other person’s shoes or because we don’t know what it feels like. At times we can open ourselves by listening. It can also slow and simplify our thinking.

Whether you’re overwhelmed feelings have to do with a disagreement or with having too much on your plate, listen to your inner self and step back a little. When you are feeling overwhelmed, you can cause yourself anxiety, bitterness, and unneeded extra stress. It can be helpful to scale back the things that are out of your control.

If you have too many things to do in a short time, redo your list. Look at what has to be done and see if you can delegate some things. And yes, this means you have to let go of some control. It just isn’t always worth the stress to have to have things “your way.”

If it seems your thoughts are mostly what is overwhelming you, you can use some tools to slow the momentum down. First of all, we can only take things a day at a time. Even that can get out in front of us and be too much. You may have to take it an hour or a moment at a time. This helps you bring your worries and perspective back into the present moment where you can gain some peace and clarity.

Listen to what your body and intuition are trying to communicate with you. Sometimes you simply need to rest and rejuvenate. Often I hear from clients that they feel guilty when they take time for themselves. Too often we feel like we have to do enough work to justify relaxation. Unfortunately we get caught up in a loop of always working and doing, which then causes us to lose balance. This is where many of our overwhelming feelings come from.

Simplifying really helps you to reel your mind back in to bring some relief. It may be you need to slow down. Take a break and allow yourself a nap. Get a massage. Watch a funny movie. Have some laughs with a friend. The key is to permit some space between the overwhelment and calmness you’re seeking. Whatever you can do in the moment when you feel overwhelmedness building up is the first step in turning down the paralyzing heat.

We are often taught about how to work harder and push through our problems. Sometimes a small break in the momentum gives you more leverage than force. I’ve read research stating that when you are very tired and try to push yourself through, you lose momentum and productivity and may fail to finish your project no matter how many hours you put in. If you can somehow walk away and give your mind a break to focus elsewhere even for twenty minutes, you can return and be more productive in twenty minutes than you would have been had you worked a few hours overtime.

The key is to simplify your thoughts. Allow the energy to fizzle out a little. It helps you regroup and open yourself to a better perspective. Often an even more productive one.

When in doubt, be patient with yourself and love yourself more. Love one another. Love your fellow humans. Love the animals. Love our earth that provides our home. Love as much as you can. For what you put out is what you’re contributing to the universe and what you will notice more of in your reality. Simplify your perspective and feel the power!

Mar 27
1
Appreciation

Appreciation

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One thing I often hear people say is that they just want to be appreciated. In most areas of our life, we desire to be appreciated. Anywhere we put our time, energy, and efforts. We want the efforts we make and the love we bring forward to be acknowledged by our loved ones and family. Our caring for each other comes from the heart, and we want others to notice. When working in healthcare, it was one of the biggest complaints I heard from coworkers. The most common phrase was “I don’t need a big promotion or raise, I just want to feel appreciated.”

It seems to be the ultimate reward for all the hard work and dedication that we do not only in our work, but within our families. I think we like to think we are humble enough that we don’t need the recognition, but I think it is just a natural part of us that would like the confirmation that our efforts don’t go unnoticed. When we feel underappreciated, it can easily lead to negative feelings and, at times, depression. When we feel like no one cares, we can question our existence and purpose to live. Sometimes these feelings lead to actions. Some of us may seek another job. Some of us may end up leaving our spouse or having an affair. Those that choose to bury it inside can also manifest in illness and disease. Bitterness is not a friendly emotion.

When we expect others to appreciate our work and efforts, we may not realize we are giving away our own power to our emotions. Being dependent on how others think about or appreciate you can easily leave you feeling helpless and out of control.

The good news is that no matter where you are on the spectrum, we all have some options in dealing with these feelings. One place to start is to pay attention to how much you are appreciating others. The more you can show some appreciation to others, the more likely you are to notice it coming back to you. When you express your appreciation for another, often they will return the sentiment. Often we do not open the door to receive until we first give. We also help show people how we can treat one another. We often lead by example.

Another really powerful way to open up more love is to appreciate yourself. We aren’t often taught how to notice all the things we do daily for our families and those around us. When we can express loving kindness through appreciation with ourselves we end up filling up our own cup (heart). When our cup is full, our appreciation tends to overflow towards others. It also keeps us from feeling like we are depending on other people to receive appreciation and giving up more of our own control. Sometimes the reason people can’t appreciate you is because they do not know how to appreciate themselves.

Many times we aren’t aware of how much appreciation we are showing to ourselves and others. Once we are more mindful of how much appreciation we are feeling, demonstrating, and showing, we can take the steps to do it more often. Here is a wonderful opportunity to show those that are in our life how much we appreciate who they are and what they do. Write a heartfelt letter or email. Send a card or phone call to simply express your gratitude. You could even step up a little further and send some flowers, a gift basket, or maybe a gift certificate for a bakery or dinner. We don’t have to wait for a holiday or birthday to express some form of appreciation. Be creative. Think about how good it feels to randomly get an unexpected surprise. Notice how it makes you feel and see what returns to you!

Mar 20
1
Open for change

Open For Change

By | Encouragement, positive thoughts | No Comments

When you focus on wanting a situation to change, how often are you being open for the change? Many times we think we will feel better when certain circumstances change. We may not realize the magic of that power requires a different energy than we may be offering. When we encounter problems, we may focus on what we don’t want or infuse much worry into the process.

If we can step back and allow some openness to new ideas, we have the potential to receive more solutions, options, and possibilities. We have to be first willing to change. Being open and flexible allows you to see things from a different, maybe even renewed, perspective. When we concentrate on the problem for too long, we often close the door to the answers we are seeking.

Change isn’t easy for most of us. Our brains are hard-wired for habits. No matter how bad a situation may be, often we will continue thinking the same thoughts about it because we are comfortable and used to them. Some of our best ideas and most successful ventures are uncomfortable at first. They require us to move into a different space and find the energy to open to the unknown. They require us to be more conscious and aware of moving in a different direction.

Change doesn’t often come with a map. We are learning as we go. That can set our ego alarms off and we often hear “Negative Nancy” in there giving us all the reasons why change can go wrong. Next thing you know, you are arguing with yourself. It may seem much easier to agree with your doubts and worries than to be open to thinking differently about the situation. The harder step is to stand up to your doubts and push through them. When you find yourself up against fear and worry, this is a time to acknowledge the fear and be open to moving forward anyway.

Sometimes the avenue to your breakthrough is beyond the worry and fear. For things to get better or simply move in a new direction, we often have to be courageous enough to seek a change of direction first. Your happiness and goals can still be obtained, but it may not happen the way you want to force it to. There are many paths up a mountain, and being open to change allows more options and sometimes better routes.

Many times it may benefit us to adapt and go with the flow. When it doesn’t make sense and we can’t see the whole picture, we may struggle and resist the changes ready to make their way through. When we open ourselves and be more willing to change, we invite the energy into our lives that we are seeking. Similarly, when you focus on the things you don’t like or complain about, you find more thoughts like it. If you are more practiced at being grateful, you often find you have more to be thankful for. What you focus on expands. In order for unwanted things to change, you have to be open to the change of energy.

Though one of my favorite quotes from Ghandi was “To be the change you wish to see in the world,” it isn’t always as easy as the words flowing from our lips. The change takes being open. The change takes practice. The more you can be open to change you can open to the space for allowing it. You also better your leverage the energy, situation, or circumstance for the changes you wish to see.

When we are inflexible we aren’t going to be able to move in many directions. If you are open to more flow, you allow more options, miracles, possibilities, and potentials in your life. The next time you run upon doubts and resistance, remind yourself that you are willing to be open to change. Invite some ideas and inspiration to come your way by opening the door. You never know what good things may be knocking and trying to make their way to you.